The older I get, the less I want to be around kids. I wrote about how grateful I am that I don’t have kids because of the commitment in terms of time, money and emotional capital to raise them. How do I know this? Because I helped raise 2 step kids. I was actively involved as a full-time parent for my stepdaughter from age 10-18 (when she left for college) and for my stepson from age 5 – 14 ( when he left to live with his father).
I have no biological children and my stepson never had any kids so I’ve never been a step/grandfather either. So I have no experience raising babies or toddlers.
My exposure to small children is when I see them out in the world.
Many of my neighbors have little kids – from babies to toddlers to elementary school aged. I see them playing all the time. They ride bikes and scooters continuously which enrages Wiggles on our walks. The run around, play, laugh, scream and cry.
I see little kids at the pool. There are regular “Mommy and Me” classes for kids as young as 2 and “learn to swim” classes for older kids who appear to be 4-6 years old.
In the summer, kids from summer camp swarm the pool like locusts for hours every day.
All of the kids are noisy. All the time. There is constant screaming and yelling and crying. It’s unbelievable how much noise they make.
They bother me and my dogs. When they see my dog is going apeshit when they ride by, they slow down or turn around and ride back and forth while I try to restrain her.
They run up on us to pet the dog. I tell them how to be quiet and slow so that my dog will let them pet her but they are little kids – few have the ability to be quiet, slow and deliberate. Instead they charge at Wiggles (on their bikes!) and she lunges either at them in anger or away in fear.
When I say smile and say hello to kids, some say hi. Others just stare. Or turn around, Or hide their faces.
I get it, they are kids.
I used to say that I loved little kids.
When I was a lifeguard in my college years, I was effectively a babysitter for 200 poor kids who came to my pool everyday without their parents. It was fun. I loved the job and “my kids”.
After my step kids grew up/left and we became empty nesters, I rarely interacted with kids. I worked with and mentored many young people, but they were in their 20s, at least.
The other day, I realized that I don’t like kids anymore.
I find them annoying.
They are noisy.
They inconvenience me.
They get in the way.
I don’t really know how to talk to kids. I am kind with them. I am gentle. I kneel down so I’m at their level and I try to be sweet, like my Aunt Es was with me.
But I’d rather they just go away.
I suspect that if I interacted with children regularly that were part of my family or friend groups I’d enjoy them more.
This might just be a case of having no relationship with kids making them seem like alien creatures to me.
But I don’t see that changing anytime soon.