My wife visited me in a dream last night. She was driving her car and dropping me off somewhere. She was smiling her huge toothy grin with her eyes were shining brightly and mischievously. In my dream she hadn’t aged a day from the time we first met. Whenever I think of her, I think of her like this during our early years together when life was full of possibilities, opportunity and time.
She looked at me and said, “I have to go now. We won’t see each other again.”
I leaned across the seat, pulled her as close to me as I could and buried my face in her embrace. I began to cry uncontrollably, as I said, “What will I do without you? What will I do without you?“
She just smiled and held me.
I woke from that dream with tears running down my face. I knew immediately it had been a dream. I thought what a sad dream that was and how sad I felt. For a few minutes minutes I laid there and let tears continue to stream down my face and let myself sink into the sadness.
Then I rolled out of bed and took the dogs out to pee. As “What will I do without you?” echoed in my head, I answered my own question – I’m doing it right now. I’ve been doing it for almost 4 years. This is it. This is life without her.
I can’t imagine ever falling in love like that again.