The last time I had a full-time job was in 2016. Late that year, I was fired when the company reorganized and eliminated my position.
It was one of the best things that ever happened to me.
I joined the company in 2014 having been recruited by a headhunter. I was promised a VP position, substantial stock options, a good comp package and the opportunity to open a satellite branch where I lived.
Within 30 days of my start date, the company had a 10% layoff, all hiring was frozen and I realized the VP position I had accepted was actually a midlevel sales management role in a poorly run company. Our product was buggy and immature, the team I inherited was a mess, senior management was ineffective and worst of all – these was no demand in the market for our product.
I had just left a great position to join the company and was determined to give it my best shot to turn sales around.
While I was able to make some progress, my team never could overcome the product problems and the lack of market demand.
Two years later, after multiple reorganizations, 4 different Executive leadership changes, a turnover of 75% of the sales staff and 8 quarters of missing the unrealistic sales projections, the company fired me.
Thank God. Otherwise, I might still be there.
For the first time in my life, I decided to take some time off instead of immediately searching for a job. I reached out to my network and the headhunters but did not begin an aggressive job search until after the Christmas/New Year’s holiday.
It was fantastic.
For the first time in 25 years, I wasn’t thinking about the end of Q4, hitting the quarterly number and hitting the annual number. I didn’t have to work over Thanksgiving weekend, on Christmas Eve, the weeks after Christmas or on New Year’s Eve. I didn’t’t have to put together extensive reports on the current year and projections for the upcoming year.
I relaxed. I spent time with my family and I enjoyed the holidays.
After the beginning of the new year, I updated my resume and began taking interviews.
My skills, as an accomplished Inside Sales Leader were in high demand and being sought out for a number of established companies as well as tech startups. Unfortunately, most of these jobs required relocation or extensive travel from my home in South Florida. We had just relocated back to Florida in 8 months earlier and there was no way we were moving again.
So in 2017, after interviewing for several promising roles, I rejected them all, launched a blog and accepted a few consulting gigs.
I loved consulting. I was able to work part-time, run the business the way I wanted and skip all nonproductive activities like Monday morning meetings, all hands calls and all the other corporate/bureaucratic nonsense that comes with most jobs.
Even though I earned far less than I had in previous years, consulting provided a nice income in 2017. Blogging and running my own business provided me with stimulation and challenges that made my business life interesting and fun.
It was a banner year.
In early 2018, my consulting projects slowed. My three active projects from the previous year had ended. I was reluctant to travel far so my opportunities for new projects was limited.
Then my wife was diagnosed with lung cancer and our lives turned upside down.
I turned down all requests for consulting, rejected any interview offers and stopped seeking new business so I could focus on helping her.
After 8 harrowing months, my wife died in December 2018. I shut down my consulting business, gave away everything I wound, sold our house and went on the road to live in a tiny camper.
I figured I’d either kill myself, begin a new career in a new city, or live off the grid/on the road forever.
It’s now been two years since I ended my road life and settled down in Raleigh.
I occasionally hear from former colleagues. Often they offer me consulting work or full-time employment, but I decline.
Other friends call to talk about business and ask advice. I’m happy to hear from them. At first, I felt like I had a lot to offer in terms of advice and mentorship.
Now, it seems less so. After all, it’s been 5 years since I’ve worked “in the field”. I am far removed from the daily grind of making sales numbers, managing up, motivating sales teams and giving 110% of my waking hours to work.
As for office politics, updates on employees, industry trends and gossip, I’m way out of the loop. The companies and people I knew “back then” (even as recently as 5 years ago) have moved on.
One company split in two and is under entirely new leadership. Another was purchased by a huge Fortune 100. The people I worked for and those who worked for me have moved to different roles and companies.
But most of all, I am completely disinterested in business.
I care about my old friends and enjoy hearing from them. I am happy that most are thriving and progressing in their careers.
But making the number, stock option dreams, office politics and business innuendo, sales effectiveness, maximizing productivity, yada yada yada – I have no interest at all.
It’s a shocking realization to me.
After spending nearly 30 years in that life focused on getting ahead, progressing and improving, I have no interest in it anymore.
My interests and challenges today revolve around art, history, music, fitness, diet, focus, writing, death, life and philosophy.
I find walking through the woods and observing the minute seasonal changes to be more compelling than learning about the latest tech stock surge and instant millionaire.
I get more satisfaction from petting my dogs and giving them my full attention than I do listening to Seth Godin wax poetic about marketing or reading the latest “self improvement/empowerment/business leadership” book.
I’d rather count laps at the pool every day than think about commissions, bonuses and pay raises.
Perhaps I’ve lost my mojo.
Then again, perhaps I’ve discovered it.