The #1 suggestion for being more successful using dating apps is to use good pictures. Any dating app site, any dating advice podcast and any person familiar with online dating will parrot this.
I fell for this trope when I was using Bumble and Hinge. First I used the pics I had on my phone. Then, over the course of a few weeks, I replaced my photos with better ones, I added videos and audio, I “spiffied” up my profile.
None of it seemed to have much of an effect.
Since I ended my dating experiment a few months ago, my life has returned to normal and is much better. During this time, I learned about photo/video editing, filters and face tune.
Wow is all I can say.
- No wonder celebrities look impossibly attractive.
- No wonder so many average people have such white teeth.
- No wonder there are no wrinkles.
- No wonder people look different in person.
Macklemore has a line in a song when he first went to the Grammy’s: “Such and such looks really f***ing old.” Of course they did – because he saw them in person, unfiltered and unedited. No amount of botox, surgery and fillers can do what filters do.
But I refuse to use filters.
I am what I am.
I’m kinda ugly.
I’m 54.
I shave my head because I prefer this to having coarse, thinning gray hair.
I have wrinkles.
I have scars, freckles, and some sun spots.
My resting face is a bit frowny. I do smile a lot – and I have the eye creases and laugh lines as evidence.
I used to think I was slightly above average in looks.
Now I’m not so sure.
I think the #1 recommendation for success using dating apps should be: “Be extremely good looking“. I bet the top 10% of the hottest women and men have no problem attracting dates.
Of course, those of us who are average (or below) can’t do a thing about our looks. Not really.
We can dress better. We can get fit. We can promote our good qualities like career, stability, loyalty and kindness.
None of that helped me attract my next girlfriend online.
Which is one reason why I quit the apps.