A friend’s recent success in finding a great woman to date online enticed me to check out Match.com despite my better judgement.
I logged into Match.com, created a profile and spent several hours searching for women to date. Here’s what I found:
- When I specified “Athletic”, the search returned women who were overweight but exercised 1-3 times a week.
- When I specified “Thin”, the search returned mostly thinner women some of whom were quite athletic (by my standard, athletic means I compete in hardcore athletic training like marathons, lap swimming, CrossFit etc.).
- When I gave the age range as 42-55 (I’m currently 52), all of the searches gave me women over 50. I had to drop the lower parameter to 28 to see any women under 45.
Out of about 150 women, I found 5 to be attractive, without small children living at home and within 25 miles of my home.
I thought that was pretty good.
Of course, I have no idea if these women are real. Or if they had a profile years ago and never visit the site anymore. Or if these are catfish accounts.
I clicked the “like” button on them and sent free messages where available.
That’s when I realized that with my “free” access, I could search, kick like and send an occasional free message but I could not read or respond to any messages or see who “liked me” unless I paid for an account.
Accounts ranged from $30 a month (minimum 12 month commitment) to $59 for a 1 month auto renewing account.
Fortunately, my inner cheapskate saved me from continuing.
Instead I deleted my account and went to bed.
Here’s what I didn’t like about my reaction to online dating.
Despite my misgivings, I quickly began searching for the “hottest” women. I scanned their profile bios and if they displayed the least bit of humor or creativity, I consider them a possible match.
If they didn’t write a profile, if they were dedicated to their children or their church, if they wanted fine dining and travel, they were out.
It was somewhat entertaining to look at pictures and sift through profiles.
I was challenged to present an accurate yet “best side” of myself through my own profile and picture selection.
It was also somewhat nauseating. Like looking on LinkedIn or Indeed for a job.
I felt kind of icky and hungover after a few hours of this.
And that’s really why I deleted my account just hours after I dipped a toe in the waters.
I don’t plan to find a date by matching algorithms and sifting through profiles. I see attractive women everywhere I go (except the desert).
After this experiment, I’m quite sure about a few things.
- I am not interested in raising someone else’s children. I did that once and that was enough.
- I’m certainly not interested having any children of my own.
- I must be attracted to her and she to me – as we are. Filtered photos and carefully edited profile write-ups won’t do.
- Since I’m frugally retired early and relatively secure, I’m looking for someone in a similar position or at least with similar values when it comes to money, consumerism and life
- Activity matters a lot. I’m very active. My partner needs to be as well.
I don’t know if I’m looking for a long term relationship. My last relationship was 29 years. Before that was 4 months and before that was 4 years – long term relationships are pretty much all I know.
I’m not looking for Mrs. Right. I already married her.
That doesn’t mean I’m not open to finding love and making a commitment. It simply means, I am not desperate for this.
Age doesn’t matter much to me.
What matters more is maturity, vibrancy and energy.
That being said, most of the women my age, on Match.com, looked like my grandmother.
Perhaps I look like my grandfather too (especially since I shave my head now), but I’m quite confident my activity levels, fitness and energy will smoke most 30 year old guys and gals.
So if you’re hot, slim, female, single, without kids (or with grown kids) and are looking for someone to share dinner with, walk the dogs together, go for hikes, do road trips and hang out, hit me up.
As for all of the other online dating criteria and how we “match”… we can figure that out in person.
