I was feeling sorry for myself thinking how I don’t fit it anywhere.
I retired early making me 20 years younger than most of my retirement peers. I’m a widower who lives alone with his dogs in a family friendly suburban neighborhood. I have few close friends nearby and my only family live far away.
Everywhere I looked, I saw young lovers holding hands, boisterous “perfect” families on bike rides and even seniors citizens gracefully aging with their partners.
After wallowing in self-pity for a short while, it occurred to me that I wasn’t the only widower in my neighborhood.
Nor am I the only person who lives alone.
I thought it would be worthwhile to look at the facts.
There are 20 houses on my block. I wrote down what I knew about each of them. The data did not support my self-pity.
65% of my neighbors live alone.
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- 2 are widows. 2 are widowers.
- 9 are single. Of these, at least 3 are divorced.
- As far as I can tell, only one of the singles dates.
- The married families include 4 Millennials, 2 Baby Boomers and 1 Gen X
- One couple are two gay men
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50% of my neighbors are Generation X, like me.
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- 4 others are Millennials.
- 6 are Baby Boomers (or older)
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90% of my neighbors are white.
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- Only 2 households are black. One of these is a family from Africa (Nigeria I think).
- There are no hispanic or Asian people on my block.
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20% have small children.
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- 2 Millennial couples have 2 preschool age kids each
- 1 Millennial couple has 1 preschool kid
- The Nigerian family has 1 grade school aged kid
- All of the kids play outside in their front and back yards daily.
- Except for the Nigerian family, all of the Millennial families have a stay at home Mom who doesn’t work.
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20% of the seniors have serious health issues
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- One widow is 86 and nearing the end of her life
- One divorced woman is so limited that her ex-husband and son are at her house nearly every day to help her
- Another woman rarely leaves her home and I’ve seen ambulances there at least 4 times in he past year
- The other widower can barely walk and cannot stand up straight.
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50% have dogs, at least one has a cat.
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- 4 of us regularly walk our dogs.
- The others never do.
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Everyone appears to be solidly Middle Class.
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- All of our houses are similarly valued 2 or 3 bedroom homes.
- Everyone drives fairly late model, moderately priced vehicles
- Homes and property are kept up. Many people use lawn and pest services.
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50% never come outside
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- I see their cars pull in & out of their garages. Otherwise, they only go outside to get mail and put trash out.
- Some might hangout in their back yards, but I suspect most stay inside watching TV.
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I live on a great little street. I have made a few acquaintances and at least one friends here.
Most of my neighbors are friendly. A few seem painfully shy. None are assholes.
In the neighboring blocks, there are bigger houses – some filled with Millenial families and others with retirees.
I suspect somewhere in my my neighborhood, there are other early retired, Gen X widows or widowers too.
Perhaps one day, I will meet them.