Recently I read a message from a friend I met online several years ago. My friend said that he considered me family. As flattered as I am for his kind words, I disagree.
We are not family.
In fact, through my dating misadventures, I’ve come to realize that communicating through online messaging, reading blogs, dating apps and texting is not a true depiction of reality.
When people sent me glowing comments on my blog, I thanked them but often said I’m not as stellar as the image I present. I put my best foot forward in my writing. I have time to think about it, edit it and consider how it will be received. In person, I am often more deadpan, blunt and boring.
As it turns out, so are many other people. I met many women who were articulate, witty, engaging and intriguing via text who, in person, were nearly catatonic.
I’m sure some of them found me less charming in person too.
So I’ve learned not to overvalue relationships I make with people I only know online. If we haven’t interacted in real life, then we’re not really friends. We may be friendly. We may look forward to hearing from each other. But we don’t know each other. And we’re not family, no matter how fond of each other we are online.
My conclusion is that online is not real. It may be a start to something real, but until we meet in person, we’re acquaintances at best.