Tomorrow will be the 19th anniversary of the day I quit drinking. I don’t pay much attention to dates like my birthday, holidays or anniversaries and my sobriety date is no different for me. If it didn’t happen to coincidently fall on St. Patrick’s Day back in 2004, I would likely forget it every year. In fact, many years it passes by and I don’t realize it until weeks or months later.
That doesn’t minimize the effect quitting drinking had on my life. For me, it was probably the most life impacting change I ever made. If not number one, it was a close second only to marrying my wife.
It wasn’t the quitting drinking that changed everything. It was following the program of AA that changed everything. I’m not going to get into all the details here. The lessons I learned and the way these experiences changed me are scattered throughout the 1000+ posts I’ve written.
As much as I loved the feeling of being drunk and the many fun times I had drinking, I don’t miss it because I feel great nearly all the time now. The freedom, feeling of exuberance, power and lack of inhibition I used to get from drinking I now have all the time. (If you think you might be drinking too much – I highly recommend AA. I am no longer a member, but feel free to contact me if you want to discuss).
But what got me thinking about my sobriety date this year were the podcasts I listen to. People on podcasts talk about drinking a lot.
Some of the podcasters are GenZ or millennials for whom drinking is a regular part of their weekly routine. They barhop. They go to parties. They go for “out for drinks” when dating. They talk about new cocktails, happy hours and getting obliterated on vacation. Drinking is as much a part of their lives as going out to a restaurant.
Others are GenX like me. They talk about drinking to relax at home before dinner, going to wine tasting parties, and ordering expensive Single Malt Whiskeys. They don’t hit the bars as often or binge and party like the Millennials, but they still drink regularly.
When I was dating last year and told one women I didn’t drink, I remember her looking a bit dejected as she asked, “Not even wine?” I knew from her expression that we weren’t going to have a second date because she enjoyed drinking wine and wanted to share that with someone.
I was a bit surprised that at least two of the women I dated didn’t drink at all. One never gave me any details and I was too “up in my own head” to ask why. Another told me she had quit because she realized she felt better physically the next day and now that she was older she couldn’t bounce back from a hangover as quickly as she used to.
Drinking divided my life into 3 parts.
- The first third(ish) part of my life I didn’t drink. I first got drunk when I was 15.
- The second third of my life, I drank rarely, but socially for about 10 years. Then until my sobriety date I drank every night for a decade.
- Now, in the third third of my life, I’ve not had a drink for more years than I drank.
I don’t envy the podcasters at all. Nor do I begrudge them. Every once in a while, I’ll google a drink I never heard of or I’ll look at the menu of a bar they mention.
It is unbelievable to me how much drinks cost these days – $20 each seems to be the norm. Wine by the glass starts around $12 and goes up to astronomical levels.
I didn’t sit drinking because of the cost, but when I see these prices, I always think — thank god I don’t drink!