Now that I’m retired from work, widowed and live alone I have more free time than I’ve ever had before. It is wonderful to have complete control and autonomy over my schedule, routine and activities. My small, quiet life provides me with plenty of time to listen, observe and think about the world.
This morning I was thinking about a lifelong pattern that has been particularly evident over the past 5 years:
I lose interest in activities that at one time consumed my attention, time and thoughts.
This thought was prompted as I searched, once again, without success, for interesting podcasts.
I realized this went far beyond podcasts:
- I can no longer watch TV.
- I no longer follow NFL football.
- I don’t enjoy reading fiction.
- I can’t find anything on Netflix worth watching.
- I have no interest in 99% of movies that are released.
- I’ve stopped visiting online forums focused on FIRE, frugality, minimalism, simplicity and fitness.
- I don’t eat out anymore.
- I have no interest in drinking.
For me, all of these activities were hard to stop. I let go of them reluctantly and often revisited them hoping to rediscover the joy they once brought me.
- I spent years switching from Amazon Prime to Netflix to Apple TV to Peacock searching for something good to watch.
- I’ve borrowed dozens of books from the library written by authors I used to love, only to return them unread.
- The forums repeat the same stale topics, tolerate trolls or have faded away.
- I struggled with periodic cheese, chocolate and carb binging for the first year I was on the carnivore diet.
I realize now that, similar to the chapters of my life, these activities are over. They were significant for me at a specific time. Now, they are not and likely never will be again.
They are dead to me.
I was thinking, is it the activity that changed or is it me that changed? I realized that it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I need to stop wasting my time searching for “good content” or “interesting stuff” in these dead places.
That only leads to frustration.
Going forward, I am going to try something else when I discard an old habit. I will find a substitute activity or interest to fill that time. I think that will make letting the dead stay buried.