Things I love:
- Overeating so much that I fall into a sugar & carb stupor. In one sitting, I will eat an entire half gallon of ice cream, several chocolate bars and a jar of peanuts and then feel sick for days afterwards.
- Getting drunk. From the first time I got drunk at a college party on Gennessee Cream Ale when I was 15, to the last time I got drunk and stumbled my way back to my hotel in New Orleans at 3AM in 2004, I never saw the point in drinking booze unless I was getting blitzed to the point of passing out.
- Eating cheese, nachos, potato chips, peanut butter, peanuts, almonds, pretzels, pastries, chocolate, or cashews. My serving size for any of any of these is the container, the bag or the entire amount I have on hand. I am unable to eat a reasonable portion and then stop.
I never did drugs because I was worried about breaking the law and getting busted. I don’t like smoking. I’m squeamish at the thought of injecting myself with a needle. Looking back, I’m very fortunate that I never tried heroin, meth, cocaine or speed. What if I liked them?
I was thinking about this while listening to a podcast discussing dopamine addiction related to social media, gaming, gambling, eating sugar and porn. The expert explained how all of these trigger dopamine releases that can cause addiction in certain individuals. She said, “we’re not addicted to the ‘thing or behavior’…we’re addicted to the pleasure that comes from the dopamine release.”
She explained that for some people, certain behaviors trigger a release of dopamine that leads to addiction even if in other people, an addiction never develops.
That makes sense to me.
I never like how alcohol tasted. I learned how to make it palatable by mixing it in certain ways, adding lots of sugar and juice, and by drinking it with a straw. But I loved the feeling of getting buzzed and then being drunk. It was wonderful.
The same goes for all of my other addictive behaviors. It wasn’t the substance, it was the feeling it gave me.
I found a solution for that – avoidance.
- Don’t drink.
- Don’t eat those foods.
- Don’t buy or keep any of those things in my home.
If I don’t have it, I can’t try it. If I don’t try it, I won’t set off the addictive behavior.
I learned that I cannot use my willpower to drink normally or eat those foods moderately. With me, it’s all or nothing.
I prefer nothing. All result in too many negative consequences for me.
I get pleasure from exercise, learning new things, being with my dogs, reminiscing about my wife and the past, reading, blogging, drawing and drinking tea (I still thoroughly enjoy a caffeine kick).
None of those drive me to obsessive, addictive behavior.
At this point in my life, I intentionally choose not to try certain things because I could see myself getting addicted to them. TikTok could be one. Legal marijuana and other drugs another. Steroids/TRT/HGH yet another. What if I liked them?
I’ll take the hard pass now, before doing anything I’ll come to regret later.