I’m blogging again because I’ve got something to say.
In fact, I have a lot to say.
I am also opening up all of my old posts.
After my wife died, my world imploded. Everything I believed and counted on disappeared.
I didn’t think I could survive without her. For a long time, I thought about killing myself.
Over the next year, I gradually built a new life. Finally one morning I woke up and no longer wished I was dead .
Even though I miss my wife terribly, I have accepted that the life I had before is gone forever.
With the Covid 19 Coronavirus pandemic about to hit the United States, my “new” life is over too.
The news says that the virus has spread throughout the world. We’re told it could infect 40-80% of our population. 25% will need hospitalization and 1-4% will die. The elderly and sick are most likely to die.
Hospitals will be overwhelmed. There are not enough beds, staff, respirators or supplies. There is no vaccine and no effective treatment (yet).
Our government has decided to attempt to flatten the peak of the virus so that we don’t overwhelm the health care system.
But I’ve done the math.
Population: 330M
Infected: 132M-264M
Hospitalization required: 33M-66M
Deaths: 1M-3M
If these models are accurate, even if we implement a total lockdown to isolate people from each other and flatten the curve, we cannot protect everyone from this. We will have multiple peaks that will overwhelm our health system.
Some of us will die even with the best treatment. Some of us will die with no treatment. Many of us will be unable to get treatment due to insufficient resources, lack of health insurance or simply bad luck.
This week, the entire country has been in some form of lockdown. Business are closed. Schools are closed. Society is at a near standstill. We are told this will be for 14 days and then re-evaluated. Some officials say it will continue for 30 days. Others say it could be up to 18 months.
I have made some grim predictions. Given my track record at predicting the future, many of these will be wrong.
But one thing is for certain, the world will change.
Our attempt to hide from death and create a self-centered world shielded from pain, calamity and nature is a fool’s errand.
I should know. I spent most of my life struggling to protect myself, my wife and my family. And then my wife died. Nothing I had done could change this.
We will all die someday. Before we do, we will have some moments of joy and some of tragedy. There will be happiness and there will be grief. Some things we will struggle with and others will come easily. Some will come gradually over time.
It will all be OK. Even when it feels like it will never be OK.
That’s what I will write about.
I wish you and your loved ones a good life. When the time comes for us to die, I hope it is as peaceful and gentle as it can be.
Until next time,
Steve