My wife used to tell me I was an old soul. I liked that. I always felt that I was more mature than my peers. I had to be. For me, being an old soul is more than taking on responsibilities at an early age. It’s a core part of who I am.
I was reminiscing about my “wonder years”. My parents were still married. We lived in our small hometown surrounded by friends and family. I went to a 4 room schoolhouse and life was wonderful.
Even then, I acted differently than other kids. I was serious. I was quiet. I was intent and focused. I liked kids, but I also hung out with adults and old people.
Today, when I was thinking about my recent dating experiences (again), I thought, “I don’t just date like a married man, I date like an old man!”
I am not Mr. Excitement, that’s for sure. I like to walk the dog and meander through the woods. I like to watch the deer. I like to read. I like casual meals and long conversations. I like history, philosophy and art.
An exciting date for me would be going to a museum, a conservatory or a park.
Once in a while, I’m up for a movie, a fancy meal or a day trip.
But most of the time, I’m just as content to spend time with someone I care about. What we’re doing doesn’t matter so much.
I loved being married. We had some adventures. We went on many dates. But we also enjoyed many date nights at home sharing a pizza and a bottle of wine while watching a video from Blockbuster.
There was ease and comfort in our lives.
When I started dating this year, I wanted that – familiarity, love, tenderness and comfort.
I’m not sure that’s what my dates wanted. If I believed their dating profiles, they wanted to date a tall comedian who liked to travel the world, drink wine, hike and go to concerts.
(Of course that’s what 90% of the profiles said – apparently everyone says this. Or at least many people do.).
My 3rd date with one woman was a hike. We hiked for 5+ miles through the woods in a nearby park. It was a strenuous hike which I thought was fine because we were both admitted fitness people.
The next day, she sent me the “lovely” break up text that she wasn’t feeling a romantic connection.
And here I thought we were getting to know each other slowly.
It was good though – because I had decided that if things didn’t work out with her I was quitting the dating apps for good. I haven’t looked back since.