Like most people in the United States, I’ve been upset by the mass shootings that seem to occur on a near daily basis.
Some of the shootings make my heart ache more than others. The Sandy Hook shooting where elementary school kids were killed is one of these.
But when I let myself really sink into the stories of anyone injured or killed in a mass shooting, they all make my heart ache.
Instead of simply being upset and offering condolences, I want to do something.
Is It Getting Worse?
I’m not sure if there are more shootings today than when I was younger. I’ve read stats that both confirm and repudiate this.
I am certain that we’re exposed to more tragedies on a daily basis. In the past, we weren’t alerted to every car accident, shooting or fire across the nation as it happened in realtime. Today we’re bombarded by it.
Let’s not forget, the news media wants us to be afraid so that we stay tuned in. Watch any newscast and you’ll hear “What you should worry about” and “How you can protect yourself”.
If there’s any shooting the news will have extended special reports highlighting victims, speculating about motives and sensationalizing the incident. They’ll point fingers at someone for not predicting the shooting would occur, for a slow response or for an inadequate expression of sympathy.
Then they’ll read tweets and show soundbites from our incompetent political leaders offering thoughts and prayers. Democrats will point fingers at Republicans and vice versa.
We’ll end with a parting shot of candles and reminders to be courageous in the face of tragedy.
In the meantime, people keep dying.
So for the past year, I’ve dug into this issue.
I wanted to understand the positions of liberals, conservatives, gun control advocates and gun rights supporters.
I read about crime and gun control in different countries – including Japan, Ireland, Australia, Brazil, Canada and Mexico.
I read stats about shootings, guns and terrorism.
I read about mental health, hardened security measures and counter terrorism tactics.
I tried to think beyond the headlines. I questioned the statistics and dove deeper to understand what was really being measured and presented.
- Obviously, if we kept all guns out of the hands of the shooters, we wouldn’t have mass shootings. Guns make it easier to shoot people. Automatic and semi-automatic guns make it easier to shoot people faster.
- The antithesis is also obvious. If every citizen was armed and capable, we’d have fewer mass casualties.
But let’s face it, neither of these options is a realistic solution for us today.
Isolation and Lack of Community
It seems like there are a few common types of mass shootings.
- Domestic shootings where the shooter is specifically targeting family or ex-family members.
- Random shootings where the shooter is going after a soft target to kill a lot of people randomly. The shooter might have some familiarity with the target. It might have been his school or workplace.
- Disgruntled Employee/Wronged Customer/Bullied Classmate shootings where the shooter chose his target to enact revenge and right some past wrong. This is where the shooter targets a place specifically.
What these three often have in common is that the shooter was isolated from friends, family and society.
He (usually) was a loner, a misfit or a weirdo. Rarely do I read that the shooter was an active member in his community.
I think this is the part of the problem.
I wonder how many of these people would have become shooters if they were part of a tighter knit community? What if a friend could have told him he was acting crazy and got him to see the absurdity in the situation? Or a neighbor helped him work through his anger on a ball field or punching a heavy bag? Or the church gave him a volunteer opportunity where he could feel good about himself?
I may be oversimplifying this.
But what if I’m right?
When I was a kid, we had activities that bonded neighbors together within our communities like:
- Church and church events (picnics, trips, breakfasts, raffles)
- Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, Summer Camp
- Community Parks
- Neighborhood sports like baseball, softball, bowling, hockey
- Block parties, pot luck dinners and cookouts
We all also spent time outside. We talked to our neighbors. Parents watched each other’s kids. Neighbors helped each other move furniture. We celebrated birthdays together and visited each other in the hospital. We went to community schools and grew up together.
We knew each other and cared about each other. This included the people we liked a lot, those we didn’t like so much and even the misfits.
Everyone had a place in the community.
Today, most of us do not know our neighbors.
In many of the communities where I’ve lived during the past 20 years, I’ve only seen the neighbors only when their car pulls out of the garage in the morning or when it pulls in at night. They don’t even come outside except to pickup the mail.
I’m a bit of an exception because I walk my dog, exercise in the front garage, walk and bike around the neighborhood. So I get to see and interact with my neighbors a bit more.
My wife gardens. When she’s out front, she sees the neighbors. But when she’s in the fenced-in back yard, she might as well be on another planet.
Like everyone else, we spend more time inside our home staring at a computer/phone/TV screen than we do having real face-to-face conversations with anyone but ourselves.
This is broken.
What I Am Going to Try
Instead of saying hello and going on my way, I am going to try to get to know my neighbors better.
- I’ll make time for an extended conversation instead of a quick wave.
- I’ll share some of the stuff that’s going on in my life and ask about them.
- I’ll offer to help more when I see them working on something.
I don’t know if this will prevent a single mass shooting. But it’s a place to start.
I hope you’ll join me in getting to know your neighbors too.