My friend who is my age lives with his elderly mother, purportedly to take care of her.
This friend has not worked for more than 25 years due to various issues which I won’t detail here. His financial, medical and housing needs are met by government subsidies and additional support from his family.
He is bitter that people don’t treat him with respect. He says that his mother still thinks of him as a “child”. The woman in his church don’t see him as a potential mate. Peers still think of him as “that f***up”.
I’ve listened to his tales of woe and resentment for decades but have decided not to do this anymore.
In the past, he had some severe mental health issues. But those are well under control and have been for years.
Today, he’s a fully capable, well-educated, intelligent man. A man who – lives with his mother, pays no bills, doesn’t manage his finances and doesn’t work. He basically has been retired and free to do whatever he wanted since he was in his early 30s.
So I’m going to give him some advice the next time we talk.
If he wants to be respected as a man, then he needs to act like a man and do respectable things.
I heard someone say many years ago that if you wanted to build self-esteem then do esteemable acts. That phrase has echoed in my head ever since. It’s become a guidepost for the way I life my life.
Perhaps it will help my friend earn what he wants.