During the pandemic, I came to understand how much I needed casual connections with other human beings to maintain my spirits.
I was grateful for the few in-person conversations I had each week with:
- The grocery store check out lady
- The check-in clerk/temperature taker at the swimming pool
- The neighbors I’d see when I walked my dogs
I had longer, more meaningful conversations with friends and family by phone, but often my only facemask-to-facemask live conversations were with my causal acquaintances.
This went on for 2 years.
Then, I had my first date, a few weeks before Christmas. My neighbor invited me over for dinner. We ate, cooked and talked for 4 hours. Without face masks.
It was wonderful to see someone’s complete face while she frowned, smiled, laughed, chewed and talked.
That was 3 months ago. Since then, we’ve had another Covid peak and valley (Omicron) and I’ve gone on maskless dates with a bunch of other women.
I’ve had intense, deep conversations and lighthearted fun ones. I’ve had dinner at restaurants, in my home and in other’s homes.
Unfortunately, none of these dates has turned into a relationship and I’m not interested in dating to make “friends”.
So I’m back to having a few meaningful conversations each week over the phone plus my regular casual contact with neighbors, lifeguards, the check in guy at the pool, fellow dog walkers, my 4:30AM girlfriend, the grocery store lady and the vet techs.
And you know what? It is pretty damn good.
When I was married, I spoke to my wife everyday, about everything from TV shows to philosophy to absurdities to the mundane.
Back then, I had no interest in making small talk or building friendships with strangers. I didn’t need to. My wife was all I needed.
Well, she’s been dead for 3 years and I’ve come to rely on these conversations and relationships with the people I see regularly in my life. Are they my friends? I suppose so. We seem to enjoy taking to each other, even if it is only at their workplace or the random places we run into each other.
It’s added a richness to my life that I had never expected.
It makes living alone much easier.