I am overwhelmed. Despite my attempts to minimize my interactions with internet trolls, avoid most news and modulate my exposure to Trump and his cohorts, whenever I’m online or listening to podcasts, I am barraged with bad news, doom predictions, and dystopian forecasts.
I’d blame Trump & team for at least 75% of it. The volume of chaos he creates is extraordinary. But, even if he wasn’t President, there would still be plenty of gloom and doom to circulate about AI, the collapse of democracy, war, Russia, China, Israel, Palestine, Ukraine, Myanmar, climate catastrophe, health insurance crises, and on and on.
I’ve withdrawn offline even more into actual physical books, which helps. I leave my phone at home more during the day and avoid picking it up unless I have a specific need. I regularly scan transcripts of podcasts before I listen to them to determine if the content will be valuable vs. a regurgitation of what others have already covered or more catastrophizing.
Lately, I’ve been sleeping soundly while dreaming about regular everyday conversations and interactions with my wife. In the dreams, she’s alive and not dying from cancer. We’re doing regular stuff – making dinner, walking the dog, talking, hanging out and sending time with each other. Sometimes we’re dealing with my recurrent nightmares of moving and/or business travel too. Nonetheless, I enjoy these dreams. It feels like she is still with me.
When I wake up I don’t feel sorry for myself. She is gone. I am here. Our lives were good together. My life is good now – but different and not as good as when she was alive.
IIWII (It Is What It Is).
One thing I am certain of is that I won’t find meaning, answers, thoughtful discourse, insight or comfort from media or online content.
At one time, I did. Cartoons and Sesame Street as a kid. Sitcoms and Blockbuster Movies as a young adult. Movie night out for decades. Netflix binges and cable TV. AOL chat rooms and the discussions on early user forums.
Like the time with my wife, the time for those has passed too.
Is that bad? Is it good? It doesn’t really matter.
IIWII.