Thou shall not covet your neighbor’s wife; and you shall not desire your neighbor’s house, his field, his male servant, his female servant, his ox, his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.
The 10 Commandments were drilled into my head as a child being raised Catholic. One thing I learned back then from family, church, school and catechism was that Catholics liked to do dictate what I could and could not do, under the threat of burning forever in hell. No wonder I became an atheist.
Nonetheless, I couldn’t forget the 10 commandments if I tried.
Lately, I’ve found myself nagged by twinges of envy.
When a house in my neighborhood is listed for sale, I check it out online. They all sell for amounts that are $100K – $500K more than my own. They all are bigger. Many with 2 car garages, extra rooms, and beautifully updated kitchen and bathrooms.
Or, I’ll read about an athlete’s contract or will check out a CEO or famous person’s net worth online and be stunned at the 10s or 100s of millions they have earned.
Or, I’ll see a new vehicle parked in someone’s driveway and when I lookup the price later, learn it cost more than my first home cost.
Or, I’ll discover that someone who once worked for me is now a senior executive making a boatload of money after just being hired for an entry level position a few years ago, when it took me decades of effort to even get to a decent mid-level role.
I’m coveting, no doubt.
So yesterday when I was out walking the dog in the early morning, I was thinking – this coveting is my own fault.
There’s a reason I am not on Facebook and Instagram. I don’t want to see all the people who appear to be happier, better looking, living their (staged) best lives whom I could never measure up to. It would make me miserable.
And it occurred to me, I don’t need to check out any real estate listings in my neighborhood anymore just to satisfy my curiosity. I know the houses are bigger. I know they’re more expensive than mine. Generally, I know exactly what they will look inside (aka the Pottery Barn look). When, or if, I am buying/selling a house, I will hire a realtor. Until then, it doesn’t matter to me at all.
As for celebrities’ net worth, I am no longer going to satisfy my curiosity because it just makes me resentful.
And for my former employees – good for them. There are many people – who by luck or hard work or whatever – have done better than me. I don’t need to rub my own face in it.
My approach to avoiding coveting is “out of sight, out of mind”. Sometimes I just need to remind myself to do this.