The more time I spend alone, the more I talk to myself out loud using a liberal dose of f*-bombs, slurs and epithets. When I’m around others, I am more polite and don’t curse nearly as often.
With close friends, I’ll drop a lot of swear words in casual conversation.
This is something new for me that came with retirement. I spent most of my life carefully controlling my mouth – especially in the workplace and in public. I had an “image” to project. I rarely swore. In fact, I considered it a point of pride.
It’s not that I walk down the street dropping f* bombs like I have Tourette syndrome. I might be thinking these words and muttering them to myself, but I don’t like to make other people uncomfortable so I keep them to myself. I also don’t want to get punched in the face or shot so I don’t do the road rage thing or confront strangers about trivial issues or behaviors that are none of my business.
I was thinking the other day – is this who I really am? A crude guy who swears a lot and thinks “politically incorrect” thoughts?
Sometimes I am.
But I am also a guy who helps his neighbors, look out for strangers and tries to show kindness all time.
So if I curse someone under my breath for cutting me off in traffic or whine to myself about how f*ing cold it is when I’m walking the dog in the morning, I’m A-OK with that.