I was listening to a dating advice podcast recently when the host commented that the caller dated “like a married guy”. The host was making fun of the caller because the caller’s dates included evening walks, dinners at home, Netflix and hanging out with his girlfriend.
The host said, “Where’s the excitement? Where’s the fun? What about going out for drinks? Going to comedy shows? Traveling to Europe? Where are the tapas restaurants, dancing and late night clubs?”
And I thought, you know what…I date like a married guy!
You know why? Because I was a married guy for 29 years.
And because I’ve always liked simple dates.
Before I was married, I dated a girl exclusively for almost 4 years. We had so much fun together.
- We went to the movies and out for dinner regularly – usually calzones, pizza or fast food.
- We played tennis on the free public courts.
- I would sit in the bleachers and cheer her on when she played softball.
- We’d go miniature golfing occasionally.
- We’d walk places at least half the time when I couldn’t borrow my mom’s car.
- We made out and fooled around – a lot. It was my all time favorite activity and she seemed to enjoy it too.
- We hung out in our local neighborhood parks.
- We played with the dogs.
- We went to picnics and parties at friend’s houses.
- We’d go ice skating.
- We’d go to the lake and feed the ducks or rent a canoe to paddle around.
- I taught her how to drive.
With other girls, dates were very similar.
After all, we were all lower class and didn’t have much money. I had to pay for everything from my part time jobs so the idea of going to an expansive restaurant or vacation was simply unfathomable.
When I was married, our dates were more expensive. We spent way too much money on fine dining and takeout. We took some expensive vacations. We bought expensive booze. We paid for costly babysitters.
But we also rented movies and ordered pizza at home. We walked the dogs together every night. We’d sit and talk for hours on end. We made out and fooled around a lot (some things never get old!). We’d read. We’d visit state parks. We’d go swimming.
Since I stopped dating a few months ago, I realized that I’m not about to change. I still like simple things. If I ever date again, I’ll do the same types of activities I’ve always enjoyed.
I’m open to new experiences, but won’t force myself to do things I find unpleasant like crowded events, concerts, overpriced meals or expensive international travel.
I’d rather walk the dogs through the park, make a comfortable meal at home, talk, chill out and, of course, make out and fool around – a lot like a married guy.
If that’s not what my dating partner likes, I’m sure we’ll part ways quickly.