My mother received a letter from an out-of-state County Coroner’s office asking if she could provide any information for relatives or decedents of some man. The first name was familiar, but the last name was not. Not sure what to do, my mother spoke to me and my sister before replying to the letter.
It turns out that the letter was legit and not a phishing scam. Apparently, my sister’s old boyfriend, from 35 years ago had died and the county coroner was searching for relatives to settle his estate. They contacted my mother because my sister and her boyfriend had lived together at my mother’s house for a short period of time.
I hadn’t thought about this man in decades. I never liked him. I think my sister lived with him for several years, but it’s been so long ago that my memory is foggy on specifics. But immediately upon realizing who the letter was about, I started making up stories in my head about his life and death.
I even searched online see if I could find anything out later that evening for a few minutes until suddenly I stopped and thought, “What the f**k am I doing?”
He was a stranger to me back then. He’s been a stranger to me ever since. Any time I spend trying to satisfy my curiosity is wasted time, effort and brain power.
So I stopped.
It made me think about people I knew way back when when I was in college. I heard of two people who died in car accidents. Another old high school friend has battled stage 4 cancer for more than 8 years. One guy, a burnout, became a nurse! Another one became some kind of private air fleet manager. Some work in the local grocery store.
And I’ll bet others have died.
We’re all in our mid 50s now.
Death is around the corner for some of us and not too far away for others. At best, my peers and I are in our last 1/3 of life.
As for not having a will and settling an estate, I’m glad I have my affairs in order. Although it won’t matter to me at all since I’ll be dead, I’d rather my assets go to the people and organizations I appreciate today, as opposed to going into the state coffers by default.
I wish my wife was still alive. It made me feel warm inside to know that if I died, she would always have enough to live a long life without worrying about money.
But she’s not. For all my good intentions, my plan was for nought.