My mother wrecked her car last week. With sudden clarity, I now understand the many personality and lifestyle changes I noticed in her over the past several years. What I had attributed to old age, depression, lack of motivation, hearing loss, lack of physical activity and even intentional inaction, now has a logical explanation.
I suspect she has been suffering from dementia for at least 5 years.
I’m not going to write about personal details and specific incidents. I’ll just say that both my sister (who sees my mother regularly) and I (who talks to my mother several times a week by phone) have observed a steady decline that matches the symptoms of dementia reported on reputable medical websites.
The car wreck was a dramatic wake up call that opened our eyes to exactly how bad things have gotten.
From what little I’ve leaned about dementia, the prognosis is bad. Dementia is progressive and eventually fatal (barring death from something else like a heart attack, cancer, etc.) My mother’s ability to live independently and manage her own life is nearing its end, if it is not at the end already.
My sister has taken the lead from a medical and caretaker perspective. She is closer (both literally and emotionally) with our mother. I’m purposely deferring to my sister’s judgement. Mu usual modus operandi would be to “run the show”. After all, I’m the guy who takes charge and makes things happen. I’m a fixer.
But I can’t fix this.
Nobody can.
The best we can do is attempt to keep my mother safe and as comfortable as possible. I’ve read there are treatments, medications and activities that purportedly can slow the progression of the dementia. But nothing will reverse or halt it.
My only experience with dementia is seeing what it did to my Little Sunshine Puppy earlier this year. I still miss her everyday.
Recognizing the signs of it in my mother is incredibly sad.