My non-dating experience with My Good Looking Neighbor didn’t turn out the way I had hoped. Over a few weeks, we had four quite pleasant non-dates with deep conversations, a fun neighborhood Christmas Eve light tour and good meals.
We’re becoming friends. Which is nice. But it’s less than I want. I am looking for love.
MGLN was honest and clear from the beginning that she had no capacity for a romantic relationship in her life. She’s got some big issues she’s dealing with that require 100% of her energy and emotional strength.
Even though she said that, it seemed like we were growing closer. We were (and are). As friends.
What a bummer. She’s an intriguing, attractive and magnetic person. We have so much in common. I think we’d be good for each other. I could help her in ways she cannot fathom.
But it’s the wrong time. We’re in different places in life. I respect her decision.
She too kind to lead me on. I’m too realistic to hang around pining for her and wishing she’ll have a change of heart.
So, we’ll be friends.
I told her I was going to date other people. I explained if her feelings change about me and I’m not committed to someone else, I’m interested in dating her.
But I’m not holding out hope for that.
It leaves me feeling wistful for might have been – in another life, another time, another place.
So now, there’s nothing for me to do but plow forward.
I learned a lot from our short time together. I want a long term committed romantic relationship with a woman again. My life is good as a single man, but it’s incomplete without having someone to love, to adore and to care for.
So, on the advice of my bachelor friends, I’ve joined Bumble and Hinge. Yuck. So far, I’m not a big fan of the online dating experience. But there were at least a handful of attractive, interesting women I could swipe right on. We’ll see if that goes anywhere.
I’m also going to ask my friends and acquaintances to set me up.
I’m going to try to introduce myself to attractive, friendly women I see “out in the wild”. That should be weird and awkward. But, what’s the worst that could happen? I might get embarrassed. I might say the wrong thing. I might ask a married woman for a date. I might end up alone. Ha. Been there, done that. I’ll survive.
As for MGLN, I’m sad but can’t say one bad thing about her. She’s a sweetheart. Perhaps, we’ll be able to be good friends.
Post script. I wrote the post below a few days before the one above. I’m including it below as a thank you to MGLN for giving me this experience.
I have been spending time with her.
When I’m not with her, I’m thinking about her. I think about our conversations. I wonder when I’ll see her again. I look forward to her emails and texts. I want to make her smile and laugh. I want to make her life better. I care about her in a way I didn’t think I would ever care about anyone ever again.
I’m surprised by how much we have in common. I’m intrigued by her worldliness, her ideas and her personality (and her beauty). She is sweet and gentle and witty and independent (and weird!). I’ve never met anyone like her before.
I feel great when I’m with her and want her to feel great when she’s with me. We haven’t known each other for long and are just beginning to become friends. But time with her feels special.