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Don’t Tell Me You Love Me

Posted on October 24, 2021October 25, 2021 by Steve Ainslie

When my former sister-in-law used to say goodbye to me, her last words would be “I love you.” When I was part of a self-help group, some members would tell me they loved me. Even today, when I listen anonymously to podcasts and watch YouTube videos, the creators often sign off by saying “I love you”.

No you don’t.


I always felt like people casually threw out the word love. To me, love means committment. It means trust. It means being there for the good times and the bad times.

“I love you” is often expressed to mean other things:

  • I like you.
  • I care about you.
  • I want you to give me money (or be my customer).

There was a time in my life when I only told a few people I loved them. It was a precious word I used for special people.

Then, at other times, I told many people I loved them because I liked them, cared for them and felt good, in general, about humanity.

I think both can be appropriate – which is why I don’t get offended when someone tells me they love me even when I know they don’t really love me.

If everyone (non commercial entities) who told me they loved me actually did, I would have expected to hear from them occasionally – as opposed to never.

For me, love means action. It means displaying care, kindness and concern. It means being involved. It means making a sacrifice to help your loved one.

Clearly, some people either no longer love me or have a different definition of love.

As for the podcasters, the bloggers and the corporations – they can stuff it. Save your trite words for some other schmuck.

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