I am going on a date this week and I am so excited I could burst! She’s hot, charming, eloquent and intriguing. She has a sense of humor and a directness I appreciate that come across even in emails.
I won’t get into details here about how our date came about. That’s a funny story for another time. Instead I want to talk about my reaction since she invited me out during an email exchange.
At first I thought she was being polite ending our exchange with one of those niceities like, “We should get together sometime” or “Don’t be a stranger“.
But then, after rereading her message a half dozen times, it dawned on me that she specifically invited me out for “A Walk or a Steak“. I thought, that’s pretty specific for a generic-blow-off-niceiety.
I wasn’t sure if this was a “date” or a “friend” invitation. Then I thought, either way, I’d love to get to know her better. Even if we just go for a walk and talk to each other face-to-face for an hour, it will be fun. So I emailed back and accepted.
That was four days ago.
Since then, we exchanged a few emails about logistics and shared a few tidbits about ourselves. Otherwise, she’s got a busy week and I’m (trying) to wait patiently until Friday.
These past few days she’s been on my mind a lot. Or, to be more precise, she’s all I’ve been thinking about:
- What does she do for a living?
- Where did she grow up?
- What does she like? What does she dislike?
- How did she become such an eloquent writer?
- What is her life like?
- What type of music does she listen to?
- Where did she go to school?
- What does she value?
- What does she want in life?
- What is her family like?
- Who are her friends?
- and on, and on, and on…
And, of course, I thought about me:
- Is this a “date” date or not?
- What should I wear?
- I need to wash my car.
- Will she like me?
- Am I emailing her too much?
- It’s been a while since I’ve been on a first date.
And, I thought about “us”:
- Will we like each other?
- Is she looking for friendship or a relationship?
- What am I looking for?
- Will we be compatible?
- I wonder if ….
You get the idea. I’m excited and interested and curious.
From the start, as soon as I accepted her invitation, I decided I was going enjoy this experience for whatever it is and regardless of what happens.
If we have dinner, a walk and a conversation – that will be great. If it leads to friendship or something more, that will be even better.
And so I am enjoying this entire experience. The emails back and forth. The waiting and checking for her reply. My lack of focus during workouts because I’m thinking about seeing her. The way I can’t stop grinning throughout the day.
So this week, as I go through my usual routine of working out, walking the dogs, swimming, doing chores, drumming and painting, everything seems just a little bit brighter and better in the world.
It’s been a blast all week. I can’t wait to see her.
In the meantime, my friends and family have given me all kinds of unsolicited advice on how to act:
- Don’t be too aggressive.
- Don’t respond too quickly or you’ll seem desperate.
- Be cool, act aloof.
- You should not do this and you should do that.
They are only trying to be helpful. But, I don’t want or need their advice.
I already know what to do. I am going to be myself.
I’m excited to see her, so I told her. When she sends me a message, I respond as soon as I can (once I draft and proof my reply a half dozen times). If she has questions for me, I’m an open book.
I don’t play games with people and am not about to start now.
Funny enough, the best advice came in a text from my sister, who has never offered me relationship advice before. She said, “Mom told me about your date. Just be yourself and have fun.”
Thanks, Sis. That’s exactly what I’m doing.