Google is currently installing fiber lines throughout my neighborhood. Since our utilities are all underground, their crews are digging trenches to run conduit through swales, front yards and under sidewalks. In the process, they’ve had a few mishaps – including busting through several of my neighbors’ underground sprinkler lines. It’s easy to tell after they hit a line because there are immediate leaks and pools of water.
I had underground sprinklers when I lived in Florida. They are sold as an automatic, convenient, effortless way to keep your lawn watered. I found the reality to be quite different.
They were the bane of my existence. They were constantly breaking. Sprinklers heads got clogged – leaving big dry areas. Sprinklers broke or blew off completely, shooting an arc of water as if from a high pressure hose flooding out one spot while the rest of the sprinklers in the zone were left with only a trickle of low pressure dripping from the heads. Underground, main lines would crack all the time – especially if you had the misfortune of hitting them ever so slightly with a spade when digging to plant something. It was a freaking maintenance nightmare.
When everything was working, the system was at best “OK”. Changes in the wind, weather, lawn watering rules, and rainfall required constant tinkering to ensure adequate watering. If you didn’t want to send your weekends getting muddy, sandy and soaked as a DIY sprinkler repairman, you could hire someone. The sprinkler guys charged exorbitant fees because they were in high demand – they cost more than computer consultants.
Needless to say, I’m thrilled I don’t have underground sprinklers today.
Underground sprinklers are one example of a luxury item that causes more problems than it solves. These types of goods and services can sneak up on you. At least they did me. Since I was poor, I felt I was “deprived” of many luxuries as a child and I bought into the myth that I deserved them once I started making decent money.
Here are a few I had and eventually jettisoned once I learned better:
- Cleaning lady – We had a once a week cleaning lady for over 20 years. I thought it was great to have someone who dusted, cleaned the bathrooms, and scrubbed the kitchen floor so my wife and I didn’t have to. I fired the cleaning lady after my wife died to save money. Little did I know that once I started cleaning my house that I would learn to love dusting, vacuuming and even keeping the bathroom and kitchen clean. I love not having a stranger in my house once a week. I like that my house stays clean all the time. And vacuuming is often the highlight of my week.
- V6 Car – In 1999, we got a Honda Accord V6 because I wanted a fast car that was big. I couldn’t afford the monthly payment to buy it so we leased it for 4 years. Then, I took out a second loan to buy out the lease. After 8 years of payments we owned the car and kept it for 20 years. My wife loved the car. I thought it was OK. But, we would have been fine with a 4 cylinder Civic or Toyota that cost half as much and got 50% better gas mileage.
- A Corner Lot – Two of the houses we owned were on corner lots. They looked magnificent. The lots were oversized with stunning trees, bushes, flowers and lawns that my neighbors got to admire everyday. We, on the other hand, spent our time in our backyard, except for the hours each week we dedicated to maintaining our expansive (and expensive) front yards that we never used.
- Swimming Pools – I was thrilled when we bought our first pool house in Florida. I always wanted to be “rich” and have my own pool. I’ll bet I swam in it at least 20 times that first summer. Weekly chemical treatments, chlorine, vacuuming it, scrubbing the tiles, repairing the pump and keeping the water clear was unbelievable time consuming and costly. We ended up buying two other houses that had pools – despite my objections. It never got better and in the end, except for the hottest days of summer, we almost never went in them.
I suppose, if I was fabulously wealthy, I might still have some of these “luxuries” and quite likely would have others. With enough money, I could hire a full-time maid, a gardener, a personal assistant and a butler who would make it easy for me to enjoy the luxuries while pawning off the inconveniences to my staff.
But I’m not fabulously wealthy. And everything has a price.
For me, most luxuries are not worth it.