I’ve been listening to a bunch of financial independence/early retirement podcasts lately and have noticed a common theme among people who retired in their 40s, 50s and even early 60s:
They are struggling to find meaning and purpose.
Like me, many had been ambitious career go-getters. Unlike me, all of them graduated from college, many with advanced degrees. They followed a fairly typical career career path, moving up the ladder into high paying, secure positions with lucrative benefits, stock options, and advancement opportunities. Most were married to spouses who were also well-educated, high-income earners.
At some point, all of us began to focus on frugality, paying off debt, saving and investment so that we could become financially independent (ie. live off of investment income vs. income from a job).
For a time, work provided mission and purpose for us. Another purpose was raising children. And, of course, pursuing financial independence provided purpose.
And then we retired.
Now, none of us are seeing our investment accounts grow as we lived frugally so we could invest more of our paychecks every month.
Instead, work has ended. The kids are grown and off to college. Or, at minimum, they’re older, normal teenagers who no longer want or require constant attention.
All of the retirees miss work in some ways.
Some speak openly of missing opportunities to mentor others. Some speak of work friendships that have faded or disappeared entirely. Many struggle with a loss of identity and prestige because they are no longer “the key money player”, “leader” and “go-to expert” they were for decades at work.
Because we’re retired earlier than our peers, we have much more freedom and often have difficulty finding others our age to socialize with because they are still busy doing the work grind.
I thought it was just me – especially because I’ve been out of sync pretty much my entire life.
Turns out, it isn’t just me.
I was lucky when I left the best job of my life during the dot com collapse in 2000. It took me 10 years to get back to that level of income and even longer to find a rewarding, meaningful and challenging job that was more than just a way to pay the bills.
That experience taught me that I was not my job. My identity, work, ambitions, finances and goals were part of me, but never became the most important part again.
As an out-of-sync young stepparent and due to our specific family dynamics, I became an empty nester at age 30 so I didn’t struggle with empty-nester syndrome that many other early retirees who are just reaching this status are having.
These other people are looking for purpose. I suspect, like me, they might also just need something to fill their time.
Many are podcasting. Ten years ago they would be blogging. I suspect some are now TikTocking. Many start side hustles around financial independence that are loosely based on coaching/inspiring/making money.
I think some are sincere and others are looking for easy ways to make money. I suspect the majority of these business are bullshit and will cease to exist within a few years.
Like me, a lot are learning how spend more freely. They are now eating out more often, going on vacations and doing longer excursions of luxury travel to Europe, the Caribbean, cruises etc.
Some are building a second home or their “dream home”.
Most have tried some sort of volunteering. Quite a few found that traditional volunteer opportunities didn’t provide the structure, rewards or meaning they had hoped for.
Some join clubs and social groups. The F.I.R.E. community has many “businesses” (see above) that coordinate meetups, events, trips and social hours for like minded early retirees to get together.
Most are married to someone who is also retired so they have a companion for their adventures and discoveries.
As for me, I already had my travel adventures with the road trip and before that with work travel and some vacations. I have zero interest in travel. I might be tempted if my wife was still alive and healthy to join me or if I had a girlfriend, but neither is the case.
Clubs, meetups and group trips are anathema to me. So is building a second home.
If I had as much money as some more fortunate early retirees, I’d consider a snowbird living arrangement to escape the worst few months of winter.
Since my wife died and I lost my identity as a husband, provider and caretaker I’ve not discovered meaning or purpose.
I have a pleasant life. I’m surprisingly happy nearly all the time. I have plenty of enjoyable and challenging activities to keep my mind and body occupied.
At this point, my “purpose” is caring for my dogs, taking care of my shit and being ready to die at a any moment.
That’s good enough for me.
It’s probably also a clear sign I shouldn’t start a side hustle to “inspire others” (ha!).