I’ve read on early retirement and minimalists blogs, “Your stuff owns you.”
They go on to explain how having more stuff means you need a larger house. Having a luxury car brings luxurious insurance and maintenance fees. Owning a McMansion brings exorbitant landscaping costs, utility bills and taxes.
I bought into this argument years ago. We downsized our home, got rid of many of our belongings and simplified our lives.
It’s been 18 months since I gave away everything and reduced my stuff to whatever would fit into the back of my pickup truck. Then I only bought what I need once I returned to civilization.
Even so, I leaned a lesson about owning the wrong thing last week.
I had this black LL Bean fleece vest which I’ve owned for years. It kept me warm in Raleigh’s winters when I lived here back in 2012-16. I wore it when I traveled to Pittsburgh from Florida in 2016-2018. I wore it on the road when it got cold and I wore it for much of last winter here in Raleigh.
The problem is the vest is a Large. And I have come to realize that I am not a large man. Now that I buy properly fitting clothes, I wear a Medium and perhaps even a Small in some cases.
Every time I put on the vest, I’d think, “This vest is too large. I should buy a smaller one and then donate this one to charity.”
Last week, when I put this vest on for my workout, I thought, “Wait a minute. I have two other medium vests hanging in my closet. I should try one of them.”
I was “saving” them because they are nicer, down vests. I didn’t want to mess them up by wearing them to workout.
Crazy right?
So I’m having this discussion with my friend Craig, who recently went through his own transformation from wearing oversized Large clothes to properly fitting mediums and smalls. I told him that I’d put the vest in my closet and start wearing one of the mediums.
He replied, “Nope. You have to get rid of the Large vest now. Not only does it not bring you joy (ala Marie Kondo), it makes you want to buy something you don’t even need.”
I was keeping this vest because it reminded me of good times. It reminded me of walks with my wife and the dog on cold winter evenings. It made me think of our first winter in Raleigh in 2012, when everything was new. We explored restaurants. We searched for decent pizza. We walked around the lake holding hands. We laughed as we watched TV and ate nachos together.
But it was just a vest. A vest that no longer fits me.
The life I had in 2012 is over. But the memories remain even though I gave the vest away last week.
The day I donated the vest I also donated my “nice” Polo Jeans, Prana pants and Patagonia jacket – all of which are way too big for me. I also gave away my 1 year old electric weed wacker that ate string so quickly I spent more time futzing with it that cutting the grass. And I gave away those cool Merrill barefoot sandals that I haven’t worn in 3 years.
Immediately, I felt like I had a weight taken off of my mind. I no longer longer had to think about all of these things. In fact, I never have to think of them again.
Encouraged, I went through all of my clothing, my bathroom, my kitchen and my garage.
I found very little that I didn’t use or that “sparked joy”. But I did clean out an entire garbage bag of stuff that no longer was needed.
Surprisingly, I found some things I forgot I owned – even though I’ve only had them for less than two years. I put some of these things to use and some I moved to better storage locations so I’ll be sure to use them.
Next up, I’ll go through my files and office stuff.
I’ll probably have a few more items to donate before I am through.
The point is not to get rid of stuff. I’ve already lived a super minimalistic lifestyle when I was on the road in 2019. That did not bring me happiness.
The point is to be intentional.
My home is now filled with only things I love.