My friend (and neighbor), asked me to feed his dogs for a few days while he’s away on a trip. He’s helped me many times, so I was thrilled I could finally do him a favor.
His home is nearly identical to mine. Same square footage. Same floor plan. Similar lots. His home is filled with a wife, a toddler, 2 giant dogs and lots of stuff. My home contains just me, 2 tiny dogs and very little stuff.
It was an interesting experience on many levels.
The Pottery Barn Effect
The first time I visited his house several years ago, I was still grieving the death of my wife. When he invited me over, I felt the warmth of his home, his family and his furniture. I felt the heartbreak of missing my wife, my family, the home I sold and the belongings I gave away to go on the road. His home reminded me of the Pottery Barn. He has beautiful furniture and tasteful decor. I had just moved into an empty house and only owned the survival gear that fit in my pickup truck.
I wasn’t jealous. I was wistful. I remembered the life I had before and mourned its loss.
This time was different. My house is furnished exactly the way I want it to be. I have a sofa, an armchair and a table in my living room. I have a simple platform bed, a nightstand and a dresser in my bedroom. In my loft I have my art studio and drum studio setup. I own what I need and use and not much else.
My home feels bright, airy and spacious. From every room I have clear sight lines, loads of light and empty space.
In my friend’s home, I had to navigate around furniture. The curtains, drapes, furniture and plantings all limited the sight lines dramatically. They keep their home tidy and by normal standards do not have excessive stuff, but to me it’s an overwhelming amount.
I felt claustrophobic and cramped.
Big dogs.
I love dogs and love being a dog owner. Ever since I bought my first home back in 1998, I’ve had one or two dogs. The biggest was Ziggy (RIP) – a 35 lb Kerry Blue Terrier – he was my first and only pure bred dog. My other dogs have all been small rescues- a mini poodle (Shorty RIP) , a chihuahua mix (Snickers ~13 years old) and a mini beagle/dachshund mix (Wiggles ~2 years old).
Snickers and Wiggles both weigh about 10 lbs, are about 2 feet long and a foot tall.
All my life, I wanted a big dog like a Rottweiler, Lab, Russian Wolfhound, Standard Poodle or Greyhound. At least, I thought I did.
Not anymore.
Just spending a few hours with my friend’s big dogs (plus a few with The Music Fan’s big Lab a few months ago) has convinced me that I don’t want a big dog.
- Big dogs smell.
- Big dogs shed more.
- Big dogs make huge dog turds compared to my puppies.
- Big dogs require big strength to pick up, push them away, play and walk.
- Big dogs have big beds, take up a lot of space and would hog my bed.
My neighbor’s dogs couldn’t be any sweeter. They are gentle, friendly and quiet. But they are huge.
The Garage and Yard.
Unsurprisingly, my garage is pretty spartan. I have a small set of high quality tools that are well organized, painting supplies, some emergency/survival gear and little else. The floor is kept completely empty. I park my car here and in the morning workout on mats, utilizing every available inch of floor space.
My neighbor’s garage is more like most family garages. They have an extra refrigerator in there plus clothes, toys, furniture, tools, sporting goods, and the normal belongings of most families. It is jam packed.
His yard has furniture, huge bushes, sandboxes and toy boxes, 2 grills, kayaks and more. My yard is empty. I have one bench in a corner and a grill. Otherwise, it’s an empty patio, grass and a a few small bushes.
In other words, my neighbor has a perfectly normal garage and yard. Mine are empty – just the way I like it.
When I had a family, I had lots more stuff. With kids came more bedrooms, more clothes, more furniture, more toys and way more junk. With my wife came an unimaginable amount photos, clothing, china, artwork and tchotchkes.
So I’m not judging my neighbor at all. At other points in my life I had double or triple the stuff he has.
But when I came back to my empty house after spending a few hours in his, I was grateful for my two little dogs, my simple furnishings and my vast space.
It was as if a weight was lifted from my shoulders and I physically felt lighter as I sighed a deep breath of relief.
Sometimes, it really helps me to step away from my my comfortable little world so I can vividly realize just how much I love it.