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Going Solo (Again)

Posted on April 24, 2022June 26, 2022 by Steve Ainslie

After a flurry of marginally successful dates via dating apps over the past 4 months, I’ve decided to take a break.

It’s not fun anymore. I had one last dating experience yesterday with a sweet woman. It was our 3rd date and felt comfortable and natural. We seemed to have chemistry and mutual feelings towards each other.

Today, she sent me a breakup text saying: “You’re a great guy and I had a lovely time with you but I’m not feeling a romantic connection”.

Ah well.

That’s OK.

I no longer hold any expectations of a relationship developing after a few dates and texts. There were some things about her I really liked and admired. But life and relationships are complicated.


After going on about 20 dates with 13 different women, I think I want to stay single. I don’t think I have the fortitude to work through 100 dates searching for someone who “might” be a good match. I’m certain that I don’t have the interest in doing this.

My solo life is simply too fantastic to be bothered.


Perhaps, I’ll meet someone in real life and date once again. Perhaps I’ll go back on the apps in a few days, weeks or months.

But I know what I’ll be doing tonight – reading, writing, relaxing and enjoying my dogs. And tomorrow, I’ll hit my AM workout with enthusiasm with the garage door wide open to the warm air and bright sun.

I’ll swim, walk the dogs and draw. I might drum a bit – depending on how my injured foot feels.

I might try to find a sculpting class.


Perhaps in my next dating experience, I’ll be open to something casual. Friends with benefits is actually starting to sound appealing – but first I have to find an attractive and willing friend.

As for bouncing from casual date to casual date – that’s highly unlikely. It’s emotionally draining for me to try to connect to lots of different people.

Well, onward.

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