I have a friend who like to talk – a lot. Whenever he’s bored, lonely, anxious or afraid, he sends texts or calls. If I’m unavailable, he has an entire list of friends he’ll blast until someone responds. He’s an over-communicator who has a need to discuss and hash out what’s in his head.
That’s OK. He’s my friend. I’m willing to listen and be a sounding board.
Sometimes.
Many times, his texts are simple updates or pictures of what he’s working on. These include pictures of painting projects, an anecdote about work or something he heard on the news.
When he’s really bored, I’ll get an entire series of these. I have to limit my exposure to constant interruptions, so generally I keep my phone ringer off and only check for messages a few times a day. I only have so much ability to concentrate and random distractions are not welcome.
I’ve told him this and he understands.
I’ve told him that I won’t respond to every text he sends if I have nothing to say. He can rest assured I have read them. If they are important, we can talk about them the next time we catch up.
Many times, my initial thought is a snarky, caustic response like:
“I don’t care about this”
“I don’t believe anything the news reports.”
“Why are you sending me this?”
I rarely send those responses.
It’s better not to say anything at all. And so that’s what I do.