When I quit drinking back in 2004, I was told that every action I took would either lead me toward a drink or away from a drink.
To keep things simple, I took this to heart. Especially in the first year.
- I stayed out of bars & liquor stores.
- I actively participated in a program.
- I worked to mend relationships.
- I had intensive therapy.
- I fought less and accepted more.
I certainly wasn’t perfect, but when questioning my actions, I’d think “Is this leading me toward or away from a drink?” If the answer was “away” then I did it.
Since then, I’ve applied this principle whenever I am trying to accomplish something, change or habit or grow.
When I was on the road, my life choices became quite basic – Is this a good place to sleep? Can I drive another 4 hours or do I need to stop? Do I feel safe here? When and what should I eat?
When I decided to end my road trip and buy a house, my decisions narrowed down to what city? why? and how much house?
When I suspected I had a hernia it was – do I live with this or have surgery?
When I start drumming after a 35 year hiatus, I visited some music shops, researched online and then bought a set. A month later I signed up for lessons. then I bought books.
We all make choices like these everyday.
The real question to ask yourself is:
Do I choose to grow or choose to atrophy?
Many people I know default to atrophy. They lie to themselves that they have no choice but to accept their situation when the truth is they do nothing to change it.
We can’t change everything. Some things are far outside of our control. Some conclusions are inevitable.
But not nearly as many as we accept.
Here some specific examples from people I know who have chosen to atrophy
- Bad marriage.
- Poor fitness.
- Bad diet and obesity.
- Bad attitude.
- Poor work habits.
- Hates job.
- Too much debt.
- Lack of social life.
It all sounds pretty awful to me. When the pain gets high enough, perhaps they will choose to grow instead.
Ironically, growth isn’t always painful and often, it’s an easier path once you break through the resistance.
Man up. Choose to grow.