I wish I could claim that I invented this formula but I didn’t. Arthur Brooks said it on this podcast.
He explained that most people focus their efforts on increasing “haves” through more work, more purchases and more consumption. Instead, Brooks argued that decreasing “wants” is the method to increase happiness.
I agree since this is what I’ve done for most of my life – especially during the past 15 years. The less I want the less I need to have and the happier my life becomes.
“You have to go against Mother Nature if you want to be happy.”
-Arthur Brooks
Brooks says that humans are designed to binge on foods, activities, drugs and behaviors that cause dopamine spikes. These spikes make us feel good temporarily, reinforcing behaviors that maximize survival and reproduction in prehistoric society.
The problem is that in modern society, humans have unlimited access to high calorie foods, social media, gambling, porn, drugs, alcohol, sexual partners, etc. We are drawn to overconsume these, sometimes to the point of addiction, because we like the dopamine hit.
But overconsumption and addiction don’t make us happy in the long run.
I’ve overconsumed food, making and spending money, and alcohol. I spent decades living with direct negative consequences of all three – being overweight, being in debt, working to excess and drinking too much. There were plenty of indirect negative consequences including lack of opportunities, stress, relationship problems, self-esteem issues, career mistakes, etc.
Fortunately, I learned to live a life free from the burden of excess wants. In retrospect, the answer to my happiness problems was obvious. But when I was in (and occasionally backslide into) the thick of overconsumption, I don’t stop the harmful behavior until the pain becomes great enough to force me to change.
If you aren’t happy in general, I recommend listening the podcast linked above. Maybe it will help you avoid some of the mistakes I made. Even better, it might help you learn the lessons you need to increase your own happiness.