My friend called me last night to talk about someone from his work. This dude was a disaster. He had a bad attitude, no skills and even worse work habits. The stories my friend told me were so absurd that I couldn’t stop laughing.
The best part of the story was that this guy told everyone he was a great employee – right up until he got fired. From what I’ve been told, he probably still thinks this.
My friend tried to help the dude by mentoring him. But after many failed attempts he was struggling to understand why the dude couldn’t seem to catch on.
It was clear to me – the dude was delusional.
I had a rule when I was a manager. “Never try to have a rational conversation with someone who is irrational.”
When I had a new employee or joined a new team, everyone got the benefit of the doubt. I assumed they were all hard working, had integrity and were rational. In time, a few would prove me wrong.
The irrational ones were the most frustrating because I would try to reason with them – and they never got it.
Once I realized they were irrational, I knew what to do. I’d get rid of them.
I had ones who:
- Considered themselves the star employee when they were underperforming everyone else and I made them aware of this. (delusions of grandeur)
- Constantly picked fights with customers, me, other employees and managers. (anger issues)
- Came back from lunch completely out to lunch. (getting high at lunch issues)
- Were mentally ill. (some of the above and many others)
All of them believed something to be true that was not true.
They were delusional.
I never could help them to see reality.
Most of us can be delusional at times. I have overvalued my worth at work. I thought living in the wilderness would solve my grief problem after my wife died. I used to think you could tell kids and employees what to do and they would do it (good luck with that).
A delusion I hear from many people today is, “I’m not going to get Covid because…” Because they decided not to get it.
Another one is, “I’m healthy. I’m in great shape,” which is always spoken by someone who is clearly obese and unfit with a poor diet and abysmal sleep habits.
“They can’t get rid of me. They wouldn’t know what to do without me.” Just wait.
You know how I combat this with myself?
I list out the facts and analyze them. The facts are usually quite clear. I just chose to ignore them.
I’ll also ask a friend for the advice. Often, when I cannot see clearly, someone who is a disinterested 3rd party can see and point out the obvious.
Then I need to decide to stop and take an action to change. Simple – but not always easy.