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I Hear Her Calling My Name

Posted on July 30, 2022 by Steve Ainslie

Through the magic of the Internet I was introduced to another new band – Puracane. This band falls into the Trip Hop/Electronic genre. I love the haunting vocals of the lead singer, the off beat drum patterns and the variety in their music.

While working out the other day, I was listening to a long playlist. The background vocals of one of the songs is a woman calling out.

I don’t know what she is singing in the background. But what I hear is “Steve, Steve?” in a voice like my wife you used to call me.

The first time I heard this was unnerving. I wasn’t expecting it.


I heard it again today. This time I smiled.


I wish I had recorded much more of my wife. I wish I had videos when she was healthy and happy. I wish I had saved more than a handful of voicemails.

But, we never were really big into photos, videos and recordings. We chose to live our experiences instead of documenting them.

I still stand by that today.

Even with the ease of recording and storing anything, there is something magical about staying in the moment, focusing on what’s directly in front of me and breathing it all in deeply.

There is something special about creating the memories that will eventually fade.

It’s why I rarely record the antics of my dogs. It’s why I walk without without my cell phone. It’s why I rarely photograph the many small observations I make whilewlakinhg for hours each day.


All that being said, I sometimes envy people who recorded their lives extensively and have photos, videos and recordings of their loved ones who are now gone.

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