The host of podcast was talking about her struggles with trying to find a “good” boyfriend when she was in her early 20s and 30s. She relayed stories of guys who ghosted her, guys who who’d go hot and cold on her, guys who dumped her after a few months, guys who lied and guys who only wanted a hookup.
She said that in her circle of friends, there was a women who always had a good, solid, steady boyfriend. She had them in high school, through college, adulthood and eventually married on of them, while most of her peers were still searching for “the one”.
After years of disappointment and therapy (for what that was worth) the host realized that her friend never put up with sh!t that the host did from the men she dated. If a man was flaky, ghosted, noncommittal, uncaring etc., she dropped him immediately and moved on. She didn’t try to persuade, cajole, seduce or otherwise transform his behavior.
The host then asked her friend for advice and the friend said, “I just love being loved. So I only stay in relationships with men who love me.”
That resonated with me. A lot.
I just love being loved too.
No wonder I was so content being with the women I loved. I never felt like I was missing out on “playing the field” because I loved these women and they loved me.
It explains why I’m so content now to be alone too. Because I’d rather be alone than with someone who doesn’t love me.
No wonder I found dating new women so exhausting. I enjoy dating women I love, who love me back. As for anyone else, I’d rather pass.