It took 3 months to sell my home in Pittsburgh in 2006. I had sold my previous two homes in less than 30 days. The 2006 home had a dismal open house and few showings compared to the others.
I wasn’t worried. I knew the house would eventually sell. I told my agent, we just need one buyer.
Fifteen years later, I put my Florida house on the market for a price that was above the average comparable because I’d put in new floors ($10K) and hurricane windows ($25k) in the previous 18 months. I told my listing agent that I wanted to start high and we could adjust the price on a weekly basis if we didn’t get interest.
After three weeks, we had shown the house a dozen times but hadn’t received any good offers. The agent asked what I thought. I told her, let’s wait until after the next weekend and then we’ll drop the listing price down. Then I said, “I don’t care if we get multiple offers. I only need one.”
I got an offer three days later and sold the house.
I feel the same way about women.
I don’t need to date a bunch of women. I don’t need to “play the field” and never felt like I did.
I only need one.
Even when I was a hormone crazed teenager, I only dated one girl at a time. I liked being committed to someone else. I liked knowing her and having her know me in a deep and meaningful way. I didn’t want to share my girlfriend with other guys nor did I want to split my attention among multiple women.
When I was in 10th grade, I asked out a popular and attractive 11th grade girl. I knew she had dated several upperclassmen before me so I was pleasantly surprised that she said “yes” to me. We talked on the phone several times that week and in person at school. She was babysitting that weekend so we arranged to meet there, order pizza and hang out. It was fun. We ate, we put the kids to bed and we fooled around for a while.
The next day, I asked her to “go” with me (our old school term for “go steady” or be my only girlfriend/boyfriend). She smiled gently and said no. She said she liked me and would continue to date me but that she also would be dating other guys. She was not interested in a steady relationship. I couldn’t believe it! I told her I wouldn’t do that.
Looking back, I’m surprised I turned her down back then. But even writing this, I remember how disappointed I felt but also how certain I was that I wanted a committed relationship.
It’s been a few years since then. I’ve had several short and a few long term relationships since that time. But one thing hasn’t changed – I just need one.