I listened to Anthony Scaramucci on two different podcasts recently (1, 2). Every time I hear this guy speak, I respect him more. His honesty and values are admirable. More importantly, he demonstrates them through his actions.
During these two particular episodes, he talked about some of the mistakes he made throughout the course of his life. He didn’t offer excuses for them. He took responsibility for them. He spoke about how he fixed them, or in cases where he could not fix them, how he eventually accepted them and took the next step so he could move forward.
As I thought about The Mooch’s words of wisdom, I reflected on the biggest and most regrettable mistakes I’ve made. Like Mooch, I’ve accepted them, forgave myself and moved forward. This morning, after listening to the 2nd podcast, I realized (or, more accurately, I made a conscious decision) that:
“It’s all my fault.”
- I was widowed at age 50 because I married a woman 19 years older than me who was a heavy smoker with a history of cancer in her family. I deliberately ignored the possible consequences of our age difference and her family health history.
- I lived under burdensome debt for nearly my entire adult life because I spent more than I earned by financing our lifestyle with high interest loans and credit cards instead of living within our means.
- I have no lifelong friends, home base, traditions or connections because I relocated and switched jobs multiple times in the pursuit of money, career opportunities, family connections, dreams and personal ambition.
- I struggled to find and build a solid career, eventually settling into a sometimes lucrative, but always stressful, sales career because I dropped out of college instead of finding a way to complete my degree and pursue a more suitable career.
- My closest friends all live far away in my old hometown because I have not invested the time and energy to build new friendships over the past 20 years choosing instead to devote 100% to my wife and family (and now to myself and my dogs).
- I have no girlfriend, nor any prospects because I am unwilling to put the effort into dating, compromising or “winning” the love of another woman choosing instead to be content with the memories of the women I loved who are no longer in my life.
Less this sound like a tale of woe and regret, there is another side too:
“It’s all my fault.”
- I worked extremely hard, persistently and determinedly to work my way up from minimal wage labor jobs to a career in Senior Sales Management, effectively increasing my earnings by nearly 40x over the years.
- I owned 7 different comfortable, beautiful homes in nice neighborhoods – achieving my dreams of leaving Pittsburgh, living in Florida, swimming on the beach every day, having an inground pool and basketball hoop, owning reliable cars, enabling my wife to not have to work for most of our lives together, and supporting our family.
- I am fit and healthy after a lifetime of daily physical exercise and (mostly) healthy eating.
- I got sober 20 years ago after developing a seemingly inescapable routine of getting drunk every night for a decade.
- I retired at 50 with financial security.
- I pulled myself out of a life destined for poverty. Given my circumstances, I “should” be poor, drunk, in terrible shape and living a miserable, difficult life.
- I learned how to be resilient, autonomous and self sufficient.
Reflecting on the idea that “It’s all my fault” is surprisingly uplifting – and not because of the good accomplishments list.
It has given me another perspective to consider regarding my deeper regrets. Somehow, this makes me feel better.
I won’t pretend to understand why.
Listen to Mooch on podcast 2, linked at the beginning of this post. Perhaps you’ll be inspired too.
