A few weeks before he died, Steve Jobs said that the reason he authorized his biography written by Walter Isaacson because he wanted his children to know why, “I wasn’t always there for them, and I wanted them to know why and to understand what I did.”
When I first heard this several years ago, I thought it was a pathetic and selfish reason. Since then, I have changed my mind.
I have known several workaholics. My mother was one. Her primary focus and attention went to work. Her secondary focus was her husband. Spending time with her kids was a distant third. Being a homemaker didn’t make the cut.
I worked for one. I managed his warehouse and shipping. Being an hourly employee making $7.50/hr trying to support my family, I worked overtime as much as possible, coming in on Saturdays and staying late during weeknights to earn extra money. No matter how many hours I put in, the boss worked more. He easily worked 60-80 hours each week. He had a suit and tie job, running the business. He owned a fully updated mansion in an expensive neighborhood. He drove expensive Volvos and BMWs. His had a stay-at-home wife and 2 small kids whom he rarely saw. He loved working.
I worked with others at different startups. There were guys who worked 7 days a week, often 16 hours a day. They came in on weekends and stayed late nights. I could never “beat” them at email response. For a few years, I was one of them. I felt like we were building something important that would make us wealthy and would make the world a better place.
After a few startup failures and none of the anticipated wealth, my enthusiasm for late nights and long hours waned. Family obligations, my health and my mental well being tempered my willingness to sacrifice everything for work.
Nonetheless, work remained a top priority for me until I left the working world at age 49.
Work gave me purpose. It was my mission to earn enough money to provide my family with a comfortable, secure life and I did that. It provided me with opportunities to mentor, to make my company a better place, and to have an impact in the world. Work provide me with social connections to a group of people that, while not necessarily friends, were my compatriots and team members working toward a common goal. Work gave me a yardstick to measure my effectiveness – sales and quotas are very measurable.
Now that I’ve been retired for 5 years, I recognize that fulfilled a big purpose in my life. I don’t miss working, but I miss some of the benefits it came with.
Work gives other people meaning, purpose and direction too. For some people, it is their only social outlet. For some, it is something to do.
When I hear from successful, financially secure people who work despite no longer needing to for financial reasons, I now understand.
Some people will never be satisfied with hobbies, raising a family, traveling or having a conventional retirement (or even a conventional, more balanced life before retirement).
I no longer think this is pathetic. It is simply, what is.
I think recognizing this about yourself and making intentional choices to live this way is probably the best way to live.