I purposely limit things I own, activities I do, where I invest time and how I spend money because having fewer choices makes my life better.
- Dressing in the morning is easy because I choose 1 of 2 pairs of shorts, any of my plain T-shirts and 1 of 2 pairs of shoes.
- Eating is easy. My first meal of the day is always the same. Dinner is one of 5 different regular options.
- Activities are enjoyable. I walk the dog, workout, listen to podcasts, write, do chores, read and watch TV at night.
Despite intentionally limiting my options, I find plenty of variety each week to keep life interesting.
- I spend time with my wife, our pets and our son.
- I catch up with family, friends, and business colleagues by phone and email.
- Writing provides a creative outlet.
- Observing nature and people supplies endless entertainment.
- I appreciate subtle changes in the seasons, daylight hours and bird songs.
Purposely limiting my choices is different than having no choices*.
Having no choices (or feeling like I had no choices) was awful. I think back to the days of being so broke I had to accept the antics of bad landlords, abuse from a psychotic stepfather or mistreatment from a boss. I empathize with any of my readers in similar truly awful solution.
As soon as I was able to exert a minimum amount of control over my choices, I found freedom. You can too.
Here are some methods that work for me:
- Housing. We limit our choices to modest houses in lower middle class neighborhoods that are near work & family.
- Food. I eat Paleo/Primal which limits me to “real” food like meat, poultry, fish, eggs, cheese, vegetables and fruit. If it comes in a box, is processed or prepackaged, or contains sugar-corn syrup-preservatives-chemicals I won’t eat it. Adhering to this also seriously limits my dining out options. (The 5 years I spent as a vegetarian were even better for limiting choices and saving money.)
- Work. I no longer work only for the money. I now work where I think I’ll contribute the most, in an environment I like, with people I respect.
- Stuff. I buy very little stuff and avoid being exposed to things I don’t need. I don’t look at ads or watch commercials. I don’t go to the mall. I don’t read magazines or visit websites filled with reviews of the “latest and greatest” gear.
- Cars. We have two old cars that run well but are dinged up and weatherbeaten. When one dies or gets wrecked, we’ll become a one car family.
- Wife. I am grateful I met Ellen long before online dating. We worked together, were attracted to each other and fell in love. We worked through our incompatibilities and rough patches. She’s one of the three women I had a long term relationship with. (I so glad I wasn’t dating in the swipe-right era where unlimited choices are available. I can’t imagine ever settling one on person much less finding someone who’d settle for me!)
If I don’t see it, I won’t want it. Even if I do see it, I rarely need it.
That’s not to say I don’t admire nice things.
- My son’s new car has a nifty backup camera that makes seeing what’s behind you really easy. (In my car, I have to turn my head and use my mirrors when backing up.)
- My in-laws have a truly beautifully home complete with real hardwood floors, a steel roof and custom everything. (I’ve got less to maintain, less to insure and less to pay for.)
- My neighbors have bigger TVs, newer furniture, boats, RVs, fancier clothes, expensive bikes, etc. (By eliminating these expenses, I’ve been able to pay my bills for two years even though I’m self-employed).
- I wanted a Kona Africa Bike since I first saw one in 2009. But my 12 year old Raleigh Mountain bike still worked so I decided to delay buying a new bike until my Raleigh bit the dust. (That last time I checked, the Africa Bike 2 had already been released and discontinued. I am still riding the Raleigh.)
By minimizing my choices, I’ve increased my happiness. I’m (usually) content with what I have. I can ignore the Joneses. My stuff doesn’t own me.
If you are struggling with finding fulfillment in your life today, you might be struggling with too many choices.
Try limiting your choices and see what happens.
*Clearly, needing to limit our options is what I consider a “first-class problem”. People struggling to escape poverty, war, violence and other untenable situations could usually benefit from having an option to choose something better.