I really am a loner. My wife’s death, followed a year later by the Covid pandemic exacerbated this.
But even when I was married, I was a loner. I spent a lot of time with my wife but I also spent a lot of time apart from her. We had our own hobbies, interests and friends.
I was thinking the other day that she never once asked me about the type of workouts I did, my exercise routine or my fitness goals. Not once in 29 years! And that was perfectly fine because that was my thing – not hers.
Along the same vein, other than occasionally complaining about the cost, I never once asked her about her beauty regime. She had her hair and nails done hundreds of times while we were married. She spent hours fixing her makeup and getting dressed when we went out. To me she was beautiful. I didn’t need to know anything more about the process.
When I was a kid, I always had friends. I had a best friend, a small group of close friends and a larger group of kids I got along with who I’d hang with at times.
Still, I could easily spend a day immersed in a book, watching TV, working on something or playing by myself and be perfectly content.
I miss having a small group of close friends and I miss working with a tight knit team toward a common goal.
School, neighbors and work was where I found my tribes.
I suppose today my tribe might be the oldsters who swim with me and the staff at the pool. But we’re not close friends. We’re just the regulars.
So I started thinking – I need to join a Loner’s Club.
Ha – isn’t this an oxymoron?
I have had no luck finding such a group in person or online yet. My search through meetup.com, as usual, has proved to be fruitless.
I’m not looking for a singles club. I don’t want to go to Happy Hours. Or hike with a bunch of “singles” over 50.
I’m well aware there are lonely people online. Any user group or forum can be full of people who seem to spend a lot of time posting.
But I’m not lonely. At all.
Maybe I’ll start taking Wiggles to the dog park. I used to be a regular dog park visitor many years, and several dogs ago. I enjoyed my time hanging with other dog people in the evening.