Having gone on a bunch of first dates in the past two months, I’ve done far too much talking about myself. I try to ask questions of my dates. I’m genuinely curious to hear about their lives, their dreams and their histories.
With a few exceptions, most of my early dating conversations have felt like interviews. My dates seem more interested in interrogating me (for suitability?) than in getting to know me. Interestingly, although I am a great listener and encourage them to talk about themselves, they are usually quite reluctant.
I suspect it’s a combination of fear, nervousness and social anxiety. But that’s just me speculating.
Telling “my story” and answering the barrage of questions repeatedly had revealed things to me. Yesterday, I was thinking about how much I love the life I live today.
I have high levels of sustainable energy and enthusiasm while still being calm and composed. I am usually in a great mood. I am satisfied.
To achieve this peace of mind I don’t meditate, I move.
As I thought about it more, I realized that mediation is interwoven through most of my daily activity.
- I walk the dog. In the predawn early morning hours I see bunnies and deer. In the afternoons we walk through the woods, observing the minute seasonal changes. In the evening, I circle the neighborhood watching families arrive home, kids playing in the street and delivery drivers making their late runs.
- I swim laps. Every stroke is counted. Every breathe is deliberate and measured. My body rolls and glides. Stroke…glide, kick…glide, reach…turn. One and two and three and four and … for 45 minutes while my mind wanders wherever it wants.
- During yoga as I sink into stretches and transition between postures, I’m breathing deeply, counting breaths and focusing on my toes, a spot on the wall, my knees or my muscles.
- When doing gymnastics, I frequently “zone out” as I do handstand, pullups, cartwheels and static holds.
- I pet my dogs. As they sink into bliss, I listen to their sighs of contentment. I lean down and inhale their slight hounds scent. I nestle them into my chest or the crook of my arm as enmesh ourselves in a little love hug.
- Every week, when I vacuum, my mind goes into a happy place. I crank up the tunes, while I follow follow a routine of moving furniture, vacuuming and then returning the furniture to its proper place. I notice when their are cobwebs. I see the patterns in my hardwood floor. I find joy in the simplicity, the emptiness and the beauty of my home.
- I play the drums. This combines counting, reading music, pattern memorization and keeping time. It is pure mediation.
- When I paint, the images flow as my mind shuts down all outside distractions.
- When I draw, I concentrate on the lesson. I focus on the shade of the pencil, the contrast of the lines and the smell of the lead.
- After dinner, I write. This is when I make sense of whatever thoughts are still tumbling around in my head. 75% of the time, I publish a post. 25% I write, edit and never publish.
No wonder I feel calm, centered and at ease. I’m meditating all day long.