A few days ago,I was out walking Wiggles and watched a husband and wife loading their two kids into the car.
One kid was a toddler. They strapped him into his baby seat and handed him something to keep him occupied. The other kid looked to be around 8 years old. He was screaming at the top of his lungs. He screamed from the time I spied him from about two bocks away until long after I passed by. His parents strapped him into the back seat and then continued to load up their car with bags. If I had to guess, I’d say they were going to visit family for dinner.
I observed that neither the mom nor dad appeared upset. They loaded up their car and prepared to leave taking the child’s screaming fit in stride.
It occurred to me later that this kid’s screaming was not a typical tantrum. There was something abnormal about it. I suspect he was autistic.
A few days later on another dog walk, I saw a young boy of 4 or 5 across the street from me sobbing and screaming. He was alone. Just as I was about to cross the street to check on him, I saw his mother, who was walking slightly ahead of him but had been hidden from my sight by a large parked van. She was pushing a baby in a stroller and walking a large dog. She looked back at her kid, said something to him and continued walking.
Half an hour later, I saw them again. The kid was no longer crying. He was trailing his mother as they appeared to be walking to a Halloween party.
This same week, a friend who does online dating sent me some pictures of his latest “matches” along with commentary. One was quite unappealing in her photo and profile. The other was stunning – she was attractive and a veterinarian. But, the first line in her profile said, “Mother…”.
These three random incidences all made me think the same thing.
- I’m so glad I don’t have any kids.
- I have no interest in raising someone else’s kids – been there, done that.
- I would never date someone with little kids.
I also thought about how completely annoying kids are when they are having tantrums.
I thought about how difficult it would be to have an autistic child and the lifelong, all consuming commitment it would require.
And I thought, I miss my wife. I miss having a family (at least when we had good times). But in no way am I prepared to start or join another one.