I have never been very competitive. When I was a kid, winning races wasn’t important to me (luckily, since I was so slow my sister called me “Steven Turtle Ainslie”). Being first in line, being #1, beating my friends at games, or being the best didn’t motivate me. I derived much more satisfaction from accomplishing things on my own or from being part of a cooperative team.
That didn’t change as I got older.
Sure, I took a lot of pride in my academic achievements and being the “smartest guy I knew”. That was part of my core identity for a long time. But it was never about being smarter than everyone else. It was about doing my best.
It really didn’t matter to me where others were “in the pack”. That was there business.
This proclivity made me a decent salesman and an even better manager. I was rarely the #1 salesman, because someone was always willing to do things I wouldn’t do to “win the sale”. Few outworked me. But they would cut corners, lie, manipulate or game the system in ways that I would not.
I used to think, “How could they do that?” but now I think I understand a little better. Some people are driven to win. It’s not about moral failings or better upbringing. It’s about different values and personality traits.
I see this all the time today.
People competing on the roads for a “better spot”. My friend, the lifeguard, who is driven to do better than her teammates on the master’s swim team. People I know who are so driven to win, they try to “get over” no matter what it takes – even when playing monopoly or a backyard volleyball game.
Eh. I’m not the least bit interested in that.
Sometimes, if the competition is too intense, I’ll just walk away. More often, I just don’t pay attention to it at all. I have a hard time focusing on things like keeping score because I’m not at all interested. I’d rather play, have fun and get better.
I suppose it’s a good thing I wasn’t born with any athletic talent. It would have been squandered.