I just finished reading “Normal Sucks: How to Live, Learn, and Thrive, Outside the Lines“ by Jonathan Mooney. I stumbled across this book at the library and was attracted by the title. I thought it would be about living unconventionally and thriving outside of society conventional norms.
It is. In part. It’s the story of how the author, a neuro-diverse kid diagnosed as “dyslexic and profoundly learning disabled with attention and behavior problems” realized that he wasn’t the problem ― the education system and the concept of normal were the real problem. He goes on to graduate with honors from Brown University, write several books, start a nonprofit and become a public speaker.
Before reading this book, my limited understanding of ADHD and dyslexia came from news articles and podcasts. The book has given me much to reflect on.
For me, saying normal sucks, is a personal lifestyle choice. I’ve never felt like I really fit in anywhere. On the outside, I could pass as normal, but on the inside, I’ve always felt different.
For these kids, it’s something else entirely. I’m not going to minimize their experiences by trying to compare them with mine. Read the book. If you’re like me, you’ll be saddened, touched, inspired and angered by what they have endured.
But now, of course, back to me.
Since I’m not neuro-divergent or on the spectrum, I prefer to think of myself as just an average run-of-the-mill weirdo. Many of my oddball characteristics are of my own choosing.
But like the author, I wouldn’t have it any other way. They make me who I am. More importantly, throughout much of my life, I intentionally chose to live quietly outside the “norms” imposed by society.
That, for me, is better than normal.
When I think back to my days in school and my early college years, all of my angst was centered around what other people thought of me. I wanted to be “cool”. I yearned to be athletic. I wanted to be funny, attractive and popular.
I did OK. I’d say I passed as “a little bit strange”, but relatively normal. But it was difficult to pretend to be something I wasn’t. I wasted a lot of time, energy and brain cycles due to peer pressure and trying to be something that I wasn’t.
Life is much easier now that I don’t care what others think of me. I know I am a good man. And a weirdo.
And cool enough.