In a podcast interview about becoming a tenured professor, Dr. Peter McGraw, spoke about the decisions he made regarding education, relationships, locations and work that led him to his career at the University of Colorado. He also spoke about what led him to work on two side projects – Humor in Business and then later, Solo.
He said that he made an intentional decision sometime in his 20s to never marry – committing to life as a bachelor. He said at the time what he wanted was to travel the world, live in different places, meet interesting people, explore and seek adventure. For him, committing to marriage, raising children, buying a home, etc was not appealing.
It occurred to me that I have never craved adventure.
I am not wired that way.
I like stability, predictability, comfort and structure. Getting married, raising children, owning a home, being part of a family, having a good job and being part of my local community where the ways I thought I could achieve this.
It turns out that I was right and wrong.
Raising stepchildren, or at least the way I did it, introduced a level of drama and disorder that I hadn’t anticipated.
Getting married to Ellen was the single best decision I have ever made.
Jobs, homes, and frequent relocations brought stability at times and instability at other times.
Even after my wife died and I turned my entire life upside down by getting rid of everything to live in my truck on the road, I wasn’t seeking adventure. I was looking for peace, direction and a way to continue living.
I remember when an old girlfriend of mine from high school caught up with me when we were in our early 30s saying, “Your life has been such an adventure!” After all, I had moved 1200 miles from home to Florida, been part of several fast paced startups and had become an early empty nester. She, on the other hand, married her high school boyfriends, stayed in her hometown and settled into a more predictable life.
At the time, I thought, “I guess you could say it’s been an adventure,” but to me it just felt like a lot of work and stress.
When I listen to stories from people who have traveled the world (usually in their youth), became highly educated, lived in interesting places and done adventurous things, I’m intrigued. A small part of me wishes I had done that when I was young and starting out.
But deep inside, I know I would never have done that. I’m not a thrill seeker. I never wanted adventure and still don’t. I am never going to travel the world. It is quite possible I might not even travel around the US ever again.
My idea of adventure right now is adopting another dog to bring into my home. That will bring challenges and will disrupt the easy, comfortable routine that Wiggles and I have today. I am hoping it will bring more love, fun and companionship for us both as well.
That’s plenty of adventure for me.