I enjoy being a decent neighbor, a good friend and a helpful stranger. When I see someone struggling to move a piece of furniture from their car to their house, I’ll offer to help. If some @sshole leaves their dog poop in a neighbor’s yard, I’ll bag it up. When my neighbor asks if I can watch his dogs while he’s away, I never say no.
Just don’t ask me to watch your kid*.
Having step-parented 2 kids, coached little league baseball, acted like an older foster brother to dozens of quasi-siblings, lifeguarded pools full of hundreds of kids and taught swimming to dozens of them, I’ve had plenty of experience caring for children.
And yet, now living as a single loner, I have absolutely no interest in being around them. In fact, I loathe being around them. They are noisy. They are disruptive. They make my dog crazy (especially when they zoom by on their bikes, scooters, rollerblades and the dreaded “electric hummers” so many in my neighborhood have.)
Kids seem to be screaming all the time. They take up too many lanes with swim teams and lessons at the pool. They are constantly coughing and passing around germs. They whine and cry a lot. They are not interesting conversationalists.
I like people in general. I would never be mean to a kid. Nor would I not help a child in real distress (ie. not just having a temper tantrum). But aside from emergencies, my preferred method of interacting with children is to ignore them.
If I was stuck baby-sitting**, I’m sure I’d be a fun baby-sitter. I know all kinds of fun games, stories and activities that would capture a kid’s imagination and attention. But, my role is not to be the clown assigned to entertain someone else’s kid. Or even worse, the negotiator/disciplinarian trying to persuade the kid to do his homework, his chores or go to bed.
Been there. Done that.
There are lots of people who love children. In my neighborhood, there are also plenty of people on Nextdoor offering their services as babysitters – ranging from high schoolers, to teachers, to retirees. Plus, my neighborhood is full of close, extended families that provide free baby-sitting in the form of aunts, uncles and grandparents.
So far, nobody has asked me to watch their kids.
If they do, I already know my answer.
* Barring an emergency. If an ambulance is involved, you can count off me. I just will do my best to not let your kid breathe his germs on me, stick his nasty fingers anywhere near my face or touch my food.
**Since I have not been asked to babysit anyone’s kid in more than 30 years, I don’t think I need to worry about this happening.