After resetting my expectations for recovering from my shoulder and lower back injuries, things have been going pretty well.
I’m slowly getting accustomed to my new workouts. My strength has noticeably increased. My coordination and flow have improved. My injuries, though still painful, seem to be getting a little better everyday.
Until yesterday.
Whatever I did yesterday really aggravated my shoulder. I suspect I overdid it on my new exercise bike. I didn’t feel any significant pain while using it. Since it was only my second time using it, I was purposely moderating myself – apparently not enough.
About an hour after I finished my shoulder was throbbing. While walking the dogs, it hurt just letting my arm hang down limply at my side. It felt nearly as bad as it did when I finally gave up and went to the orthopedist a few weeks ago.
F*** me.
I was making such great progress and suddenly, I’m down. Two steps forward. One step back.
It didn’t improve much overnight. This morning I had to return to the full dose of NSAIDS that I had cut in half the past week. It helped, but there’s no way I’m risking trying to workout today. All it would do is make things worse. Physically.
Mentally and emotionally I’m jonesing to push through the pain to get to my workout high and feel like I’ve accomplished something.
Realistically, I know I would accomplish making my shoulder worse and likely taking another step backward.
It makes me crazy.
Already today I’ve overloaded on caffeine, ate my lunch at 5AM, watched the final 2 episodes of a great series on Amazon, read half a book, did some mobility and stretching, fed the dogs, read the news and blasted out a couple of whiny blog posts.
It’s only 10AM. I’ve got at least 10 more hours to go before I call it a day.
I don’t do well without vigorous physical activity so I’m about to take the dogs out for a late first walk. We’ll do another one this afternoon. Maybe I’ll even attempt an abbreviated workout in between to get my heart rate pumping and endorphins flowing.
You know what I’m not doing today?
I’m not going to wallow in self-pity. I won’t get drunk. I won’t binge eat ice cream. I won’t sink into a deep depression.
This is life. Not all steps take me forward. I hate that, but IIWIS.
Nonetheless, I’ll keep stepping to the front of the mat. I don’t know any other way.