I have been listening to a lot of podcasts on dating lately. A theme that runs through many of them is the bad behavior of people using dating apps. There are many stories of ghosting, unsavory behavior, rudeness, and so on. Sometimes, the podcasts will interview people who’ve behaved poorly to ask why they do…
Meditation In Motion
Having gone on a bunch of first dates in the past two months, I’ve done far too much talking about myself. I try to ask questions of my dates. I’m genuinely curious to hear about their lives, their dreams and their histories. With a few exceptions, most of my early dating conversations have felt like…
Healing In Nature
When I went on the road to live in the wilderness, I thought that being alone in nature would heal me. I thought I would find bliss, peace and comfort after my wife’s death had destroyed my identity (husband, caretaker) and my world. I was grieving and I was broken. I didn’t know what else…
Trust Your Gut
After every date, it takes me several hours (or longer) to recover. Sometimes it’s because of my emotions. Sometimes it’s because I ate something disagreeable (sashimi one time, garlicky pasta another time). Sometimes it’s because I simply need time to return to my normal, upbeat baseline. Frequently I’ll call my friend Craig to talk about…
A Simple Phone Call
A few days ago I had a phone call with a woman I met online (but not in person yet). She was on a road trip. I asked her to call me if she got bored when driving home. I remember during my 10,000 mile, two month road trip how invaluable it was to me…
Attraction Of Happiness
I had an in-person date recently with a woman I met on a dating app. Before we met we chatted online and by phone. We had much in common and were attracted to each other (or each other’s profiles, at least). When met for coffee, I tried to be charming. I was open, curious, and…
My Day At The Art Museum
Yesterday I visited the NC Museum of the Arts. I had anticipated it to be a watershed moment for me because I had never visited a museum without someone else before. It was a watershed experience. But not because I was alone. The museum had the exhibits sectioned off into different rooms. There were exhibits…
Rico Suave
When it comes to dating, I have never been a smooth talker or pickup artist. Nor have I ever been quick to respond with a clever retort or a comeback in non-dating situations. When I think of that, combined with having had a long stable marriage and living a relatively quiet life, I expected that…
Passion Attraction
This morning, I was thinking about the women I’ve dated this year and what attracted me to them. Of course there was physical attraction – I liked how they looked. But what attracted me more was their passion and their expertise. They were all intelligent. Most were experts in their chosen careers: biomedical engineering, medicine,…
Kissing Frogs
One of my friends said this about dating, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding the right woman.” Another friend said I should to date at least 100 different women before committing to one. Even TMF, who I dated for a few weeks, advised me to date multiple women because otherwise, “How…