Now that I am living alone, I am on a mission to cut expenses. I’ve already sold my wife’s car and shopped for cheaper car insurance. Next up is the cleaning lady. I never had a cleaning lady until Ellen and I were married. Maids were for rich people. My wife’s family had a maid…
The Death List
After my wife decided to stop all treatments for her cancer and begin hospice, I began to plan for death. I had been worried about her dying since she was first diagnosed in March 2018, but since then I tried to stay focused on helping her live day by day. But now, I had to…
What I Loved About My Stepfather
I was thinking about my wife’s response to the man who thought he caused our daughter’s death. She told him, “All that’s left is love.“ This made me think about my stepfather. I’ve written several times about how terrible it was to live with him. But I never wrote about any of the good things….
All That’s Left Is Love
A few months before Ellen died, our son posted something on social media about her having lung cancer. This prompted an old friend of our daughter Liz (who died from an overdose in 2006) to reach out to Ellen via email. In his message, he begged Ellen’s forgiveness for what he felt was his role…
That’s What She Said
My wife was a born communicator. She was the best listener I’ve ever met. She’d smile, her eyes would shine and she’d pay attention with her entire body. Later, she’d remember everything we talked about. She cared and it showed. Not just for me but for everybody. It’s one of the reasons I fell so…
Slow Ride
Biking 10 miles (round trip) to the pool has been calming and restorative as I slowly get used to life without Ellen. At my pace, a leisurely 10-12 MPH, I see things I’ve missed entirely while whizzing by in a car. Drivers are barely paying attention. Over 50% of drivers are looking down at their…
Cruising
After 13 years of thinking about getting another bike, I broke down and bought a cruiser. Ever since I started swimming at the community pool a few months ago, I’ve been thinking about biking there instead of driving. Driving the 10 miles round-trip sucked. Traffic sucked. Putting 70 extra miles a week on my car…
A Matter Of Perspective
My neighbor up the street is an old man in his late 80s. He’s got a kind of ramshackle house in decent condition. His yard and carport are something else entirely. You see, the old man is a hoarder. He’s got old city benches in his yard. He’s got streetlights and boat bumpers on pedestals….
Shutting Down Inside Sales Dude
As many of you know, 2018 was a rough year for my family. My wife was diagnosed with lung cancer in March 2018. After extensive treatment and far too much suffering, she died in December 2018. Because my focus was taking care of her, I put the Inside Sales Dude blog and business on hold…
I’m In Repair
I’ve been writing a lot lately about my wife – her cancer, her treatment and her death. Now that she has died, I am in mourning. I don’t know how long this will last or what it will be like. In some ways, I’ve been mourning since March 2018, when she was first diagnosed. It’s…