Sometime in the late 1990’s, as call centers were outsourced, monopolies grew and customer service became equated with “spend as little as possible”, I began hearing this whenever I called a company for support: “Due to increased call volumes, hold times may be longer…” For 30 years, it’s been the standard greeting for every business,…
American Reject
I wish I had questioned my beliefs and rejected more of what I’d been told earlier in my life. I would have saved decades of wasted time and effort.
Jar Of Olives – A Love Story
She was on food stamps. I was unemployed. We were in love. When I was helping unload the groceries, she said “I have a surprise for you.” She handed me a jar of green olives. Because on one of our early dates, I told her I loved green olives. It was one of the sweetest…
Patience Is Not My Middle Name
I hate waiting for anything. So you can imagine how much I like hospitals. I spent the past thirty years in waiting rooms as my poor wife had appointments, treatments, surgeries and tests. And finally those agonizing last days and weeks waiting for her to die. At first, I sat in waiting rooms and worried…
Pandemic Musical Chairs
Social distancing at the car dealership, in the hospital and at the doctor’s office have much in common. Masks are worn. Two thirds of the waiting room chairs have been removed. There is tape and stickers on the floor to mark appropriate spots to stand 6 feet away from other people. Counter-productively, in order to…
Exercise in Madness
Before going in for surgery I wrote my entire exercise regime. That way, if I forget my routines over the next several weeks and months as I slowly recover from hernia surgery, I’ll have a record so that I can eventually get back to my full routines. It took 7 pages.
Mission Impossible?
For my entire life I had a mission. As a child growing up in chaos, my mission was to grow up and have a stable family. In middle school, my mission was to get straight A’s and become high school valedictorian. In high school, it was to graduate 1st and get into a good college…
I Had 2 Covid-19 Tests
I had a Covid-19 antibody test and a nasal swab test this week. Here’s what it was like.
Slice and Dice
I am having surgery next week to repair an inguinal hernia. This is my first major medical procedure of my life. I’ve never had surgery, anesthesia or even an IV. I’m not worried about the surgery. My surgeon does 300-400 of these a year so I figure he knows what he’s doing. My concern is…
Hard Decisions
It is never hard to decide between doing the right thing and the wrong thing. Should I stab my landlord in the chest with a steak knife over a dispute or should I negotiate to pay a fee to break my lease? Should I take my sick dog to the vet or should I wait a few…